Abbie Writes

The Weekend

2012-02-15T15:48:00.002-05:00

It's been respectfully referred to as The Weekend for several months now. Since the very beginning of the idea's inception. (Beginning of the inception... Was that redundant? Sorry.)
That is, until one of us - coughHaleecough - came up with the name "Operation Curse Reverse."

In essence, this is basically code for "a creative getaway for the purpose of total hilarity and hopeful un-blockage of persons afflicted with writer's block."

Multiple emails have been sent. Much planning has been done (Not on my part. I know not how to plan.) And there has even been talk of tiramisu.

You see, there's this lady. Her name's Halee.

She's one of the coolest people I know. Even though we're a couple of introverts who would probably hole up in our respective writer's caves and not come out for 6 months if left to our own devices, we really click. She's become a close friend and awesome mentor, and I hereby dub her my life coach. (Congratulations, Halee! hehehe...)

Also, she's super stylish, endlessly creative, a total realist, and absolutely hilarious. (And no, I'm not just saying that because she said some super sweet things about me on her blog. Honest.)

We like to go on adventures, most of which involve coffee.

That cute little chicka on the left is Bekah!

Or finding random villages with Lord of the Rings-ish names and taking pictures pretending to be elves.

Ya know. Normal stuff like that.

There's also this other lady. Her name's Faye.

We also go on adventures, such as butt-kicking home improvement exploits, pretending to jump into fountains at Josh Groban concerts, and having official Tuesday night New Girl marathons.

Oh, and throwing Clue-themed costume parties.

She's my sister but also one of my absolute closest friends. She does a pretty good job of keeping me relatively sane and grounded, and I do my sisterly duty and bring some random craziness to her life and sleep on her guest-couch at every possible opportunity.

This weekend, these two stellar ladies and I get to commandeer a beach house for three whole days of writerly, creative, beachy awesomeness.

There will be much coffee, much laughter, and lots of inspiration stirring around and bubbling forth from the little beach town that is our destination. If you live in the general vicinity of The South, keep your eyeballs peeled for three crazies roaming the beach carrying umbrellas, wearing Chucks and generally acting strange. And when you find us, offer us chocolate.

We'll be best friends for life.

My Annual Valentine's Day Manifesto: 2nd Edition

2012-02-14T15:42:00.000-05:00

I feel pretty awesome today. Like I could probably do this.

Today, in deference to the holiday perhaps, I wore heels to work.

Now, they don't really count since the heel is like, 2 1/2 inches tall. And it's possible that I cancelled out the awesomeness by wearing socks with them.

Yes, I can actually feel your disapproval right now. But hello! It's chilly and my toes are pale and my nail polish is chipped. No way was I rockin the peep-toed look today. And they were black socks, so that makes it a little better.

Nevertheless, I have newly discovered that, although they're fun to wear, I loathe heels.

In other news, I think I need to work on my "I'm independent and totally not feeling sorry for myself" expression because three different people have walked by the poor, single girl in Starbucks and wished me a benevolent "happy Valentine's day." I wouldn't mind so much if the majority of the benefactors weren't burly, tattooed men.

Oh, and one more thing: I'm sending this Valentine to myself:

Happy Valentine's Day y'all! - cause I'm all about spouting cliches to the masses ;)

Yes. It is I. Don't look so freaked out.

2012-02-09T21:27:00.001-05:00

via

What's up?

Yeah. It's me again. That pesky weirdo who keeps popping up with new and strange things to say after several months of semi-silence. You see, I couldn't stand the way my blog was looking. I wanted to give it an overhaul in manner of intense car-overhaul shows that I don't watch because really? Who has time for that when New Girl is on??

Anyway, I didn't have time to sit down and really make things look pretty around here. And since things weren't pretty, I didn't want to think about it. So I just pretended I didn't know how to write anymore. Worked for a while until one dark and stormy night when I was feeling quite on the edge of insanity. I figured I'd better do something.

Also, if we're being honest, I was waiting for... something. A purpose. A sense of direction. Vision. A ministry. A dadgummed book idea!

Ya know. Light, everyday stuff like that.

(And yes, I realize that none of the above should have any bearing on the state of my website, or vice versa. But my reasoning process is a bizarre and curious thing.)

Anyone still out there?? Other than my friendly neighborhood crickets?

:)

the swirling black-hole vortex-thingy

2012-01-16T19:35:00.000-05:00

Yeah, just admit it: your eyes are going nuts right now. You're welcome.

So, because I'm of a creative and forgetful nature, I write things down a lot. Ideas pop into my head out of nowhere and I learned the hard way that if I just say I'll remember it and write about it later... it's gone forever.

My brain is a swirling black-hole vortex-thingy of lost thoughts.

So anyway, to avoid idea loss-age due to said vortex-thingy, I began writing things down on post-it notes and sticking them somewhere - usually on my desk. The downside is, I tend to only write a fraction of the thought, thinking it will be enough to twig my memory later.

The result: every 900 days or so, when I clean out my desk drawer, I discover a collection of post-it notes that, when read individually, are quite alarming. Here are a few examples from notes I found just today:

Nights are bad for my mental health (fraud, question)

Have to find the humor in life. If u don't, you'll ugly cry.

Grace and Erasers.

The Girl with Gumption.

Female, single authors (w/ boring names) try to delay, in hopes of marrying ---- outside chance, name like Unitard or Sibelius. Then where would I be?

In my defense... Actually, I have no defense whatsoever for that last one. Like seriously. I truly do not know what on earth I was thinking about when I wrote that down. Apparently, it seemed brilliant at the time. Hey I know - let's have a contest. Fill in the gaps as to what on EARTH I was thinking. Winner gets to pay my therapy bill!

Ready, set, GO!

Okay, I'm just kidding. Sort of.

As a final confession: Today I found myself resuming a thought train with "Anyway, as I was saying to myself..." Which leads me to my next question: do you ever have those days when you realize that you're just a little... well.... crazy?

The New Year's Post That May or May Not Be 4 Days Late

2012-01-04T01:38:00.002-05:00

[via]

Can I be honest here?

Of course I can. It's my blog, after all ;)

I feel sort of like I'm hobbling into this new year. I'm stepping over the ruined remains of my glorious plans to be better and do more. They were made with wrong motives and under the wrong belief that my own strength would change me.

2011 was The Year of Screw-Ups for me. And I'm not joking. Not only in the small things, but in several very big things, I screwed up royally. And as some of you may know - or not - forgiving myself is one of my biggest struggles. Accepting anything less than perfection from myself is... well, not acceptable to me. (Too bad reality steps in the way.)

So in looking back over this year, I've actually been forced to relive some of the crap and I've been brought to my knees with guilt and shame.

**And this is where I start to get all emotional and poetical...**

... when I was chillin' there on my knees, or more accurately, on my face, absolutely disgusted with myself and sick of being me, and sick of making mistakes and terrified that God would leave me this way...

... A really weird hope started somewhere deep. And it's been growing ever since, slowly. Really slowly. Not just hope for the year ahead. Experience tells me that I will still commit royal screw-ups. But hope in the redemption of my screw-ups of this past year.

Because when I look back, I can see the crazy ways I've been grown in the last 12 months. Yes, I made some epically bad choices. But I learned from them. Yes, I grew away from God in a way that left me numb and shell-like. But He reached out for me despite the distance.

And He brought some incredible opportunities and growth my way. And I was absolutely, wretchedly, desperately undeserving. Still am.

The next few weeks and months of my life are going to be rife with some pretty big changes. And I didn't even plan it that way! Happy New Year's to me! The journey goes on, and I'm still hanging on. Hopefully soon, I will not just be hanging on, but enjoying the ride of my life.

Happy [belated] New Year's, all :)

Love,
Abbie

OH - and my one word for the year? Warmth. Strange choice? Definitely. Full explanation to come. In short: Because I've been cold for too long.

Things That Happened.

2011-12-21T15:55:00.000-05:00

On the 19th, I turned 20 and this happened:

(Staff of Mexican restaurant sang a very boisterous "feliz cumpleaños" to me and one extremely zealous waiter fed me whipped cream...)

I laughed until I cried.

Then on the 20th, this happened.

(Vessel of Hope hosted a much-anticipated Christmas show. In all modesty, let me just say.... we brought the house down with our version of TSO's Christmas Eve in Sarajevo.)

(Have I mentioned I'm part of a really awesome 8-member modern worship band? I haven't? I am :)
Merry Almost-Christmas, everyone!

My problem with Christmas

2011-11-30T10:12:00.001-05:00

Before I get all festive up in here - like everyone else seems to be doing, and like I know I should be doing - let me first just dump this batch of grinchy scrooginess on you:

Every year, I find my perfectionist self profoundly stumped by Christmas presents.

More than anything, I want the gifts I give to be meaningful, thoughtful, useful, and awesome. Handmade always helps but hey - can't have everything. Unfortunately, I procrastinate. And I also second-guess my gift ideas... It's not quite perfect. What if there's something better out there? I just need to look for a FEW MORE ideas...

This disorder is precisely what ushers me annually to the threshold of Christmas with a mile-long list and approximately three gifts stashed away in my closet

Trust me. I work in retail, and for the last two months, all I've heard about from my customers is "This is the last of my Christmas shopping." Whatever. I always congratulate them and say "Good for you!" But in reality I want to yell "Come ON, lady!"

Bitter? Me??

Certainly not.

You see, I'd love to be all giddy with delight and child-like wonder and joy and crap this time of year. And help decorate the house and spend time with family and give wondrously awesome gifts and watch Christmas movies and drink hot cocoa around the fire while wearing fuzzy socks.

But I can just never seem to get myself together enough to do it.

Not to mention finals are looming 2-3 weeks before Christmas. Burning the midnight oil and attempting to write butt-kicking papers somehow puts a damper on being that jolly Christmas elf-girl.

Also, it could be that I'm a bit of a cynic anyway.

Whatevs.

All I know is, somehow, every year, God comes through for me with a burst of Christmas realization when I least expect it. Whether I give amazing gifts or not. The whole point of this season is the joy that starts inside.

Just don't ask me to wear jingle bell earrings. Because I will throw up. And if you get a bag of Starbucks coffee in your Christmas package, remember: Coffee is the ultimate expression of love in my book.

Scroogily yours,

-Abbie

That One Thing

2011-11-22T23:26:00.001-05:00

source

What is your passion? Your "one thing" that you want your life to be about?

That question has always killed me because I cannot seem to pick one thing. I just know I'll get bored with one passion, one career, one dream. And I'm guessing there are others of you out there thinking the same thing.

Recently though, my perspective on the whole idea was totally changed. I was looking at it from beneath the umbrella. My view was limited, and I couldn't see the sky. There IS one thing and here it is:

[Realizing the love I've received from the Creator of the universe, and embracing all people with that same love.]

Everything else will follow.

It's problems like this that keep me up at night.

2011-11-11T13:10:00.000-05:00

Thing 1: I have discovered this fall/winter that I do not look cute in coats.

No, I look swallowed in coats. Like a smaller, stubby, neck-less version of myself. I attribute it to my bony, linebacker shoulders. If a coat actually allows me to hug someone without ripping a seam, it's no doubt draping everywhere else. Not cool. So I have decided upon a solution.

Problem solved!

Not really. So if you discover any cute coats that flatter short-ish people, send pictures/links!

Thing 2: My genius plan for Christmas gifts this year was going to be candle making. I figured it would be a good inexpensive alternative for an excessively broke college student. But they were not going to be just any ordinary candles - they were going to be coffee mug candles. They were going to be super-creative, original, and awesome.

Except it turns out that actually buying the supplies to make them with would have been more expensive than just buying a candle. Lame.

So here it is, November 11, and I'm back at square one. Let the procrastination begin!!

Thing 3: A costume party is happening this weekend and I am wearing blue eyeshadow.

That's all.

{Pictures to come. Maybe.}

Thing 4: Dear sir,

I don't care how stylishly preppy they are, I don't want to see your American Eagle underwear band sticking out of your skinny jeans. This problem could be remedied by wearing a longer shirt, and/or giving your pants a good yank in a northerly direction.

Thank you,

-Abbie

forgetting to remember

2011-11-06T17:09:00.001-05:00

Sometimes I forget to be joyful.

(And yes people, joy is a choice. It's much, much more than just a feeling that comes and goes. Ya gotta cultivate it.)

I forget to be thankful for all the things! The big things and the small things. The blessings that come disguised as ruined plans or disappointments.

I forget to enjoy.

I forget that life is not about just getting through to the next whatever...

{Appointment, class, day, week, milestone, goal.}

...Life is happening right now. Not even when I stop typing and get up from my desk and dance around my room in procrastination of paper-writing. It's happening right now as I think these thoughts and type these words.

I forget to remember that my family is not promised to me. And neither is my next breath.

I forget that things will not always be as they are now.

I forget to open my arms and welcome life, so busy am I hugging myself to keep warm and safe.

And when I forget these things, I become a very small, shriveled, scared version of myself. I lose perspective and suddenly everything is the end of the world. I give up my joy to worry and nameless anxieties. I shut myself away, lock up my capacity to feel and love and enjoy and rejoice.

I deprive myself of the wonderful life that God has for me to live, from the inside out.

Not only that, but I deprive the world of the impact I could be making upon it.

So no more forgetting.

"All that matters is

I know God's love has set me free."

a summary of thursday :)

2011-10-27T23:15:00.000-04:00

"Thursday! It can't be Thursday! It's too gruesome!"

I usually like to yell this Audrey Hepburn quote from Breakfast at Tiffany's to myself on Thursday mornings. Just because. But I forgot this morning. I was too busy oversleeping.

Visited a dear, dear friend tonight, and talked for hours.

Then I drove home, singing Head Over Feet with a really horrible, nasally attempt at an Alanis Morisette accent. (I keep myself very good company while I drive.)

I'm currently attempting to find a way to pull these shoes off tomorrow (a conquest of Halee Matthews and my expert shopping excursion.) (Yes, we now have matching shoes.) (No, we did not pay $31 for them. Are you kidding??)

My closet is conspiring against me, though. Along with the pile of to-be-washed laundry that may or may not be waist-high. (I like to say "to-be-washed" instead of "dirty" for no apparent reason.)

(Kind of like how I chose to write, on the day after Thanksgiving on my calender, "Deep Purple Friday" instead of "Black Friday" in an attempt to make the blackest day of a retail worker's life seem a little less black. I'm not really sure what I was thinking.)

(I'm apparently really liking the (parentheses) today.)

Listening to this song. Repeatedly.

Disliking the fact that my eggplant/bright purple nails inadvertently matched my sweater today. I don't like to look like I tried too hard =D

(This happened, of course, after I changed out of the peachy-orange sweatshirt that accidentally matched my Mandarin Orange Pineapple smoothie perfectly. Nothing more awkward than strolling into French class looking like James the Giant Peach.)

And on that note...

(Goodnight!)

I seriously sat here for 6 minutes trying to think of a title. no luck.

2011-10-20T16:04:00.000-04:00

Could we just talk for a second about how awesome this is?

(Thank you, Beka. Also, thank you for being so stinkin inspirational, you with your art and quotes and awesomeness. The end.)

This amazing chick and I are about to rendezvous for a day and a half of shopping, chocolate eating, coffee drinking, movie watching, knitting lessons, book brainstorming, and lots and lots of talking. I cannot wait.

Gave a speech on customer service this morning. I still can't get over the fact that I absolutely love public speaking. This is the 8th Wonder of the World, considering I spent 19 years in absolute fear and trembling over the very idea.

If you haven't already, please discover Matt Dusk.
More specifically, please discover "Back In Town", by Matt Dusk.
Actually, I'm just going to go ahead and make it easy on you:

My shoulda-been-born-in-the-1940's-soul rejoices. (Also, Michael Buble, you officially have some competition.)

Fall has finally arrived in my neck of the woods, so I'm going to go out and enjoy it. (Of course, I use the term "go out" very, very loosely here.)

Happy Thursday!

beach retreats and dragon scales

2011-10-18T00:23:00.002-04:00

Once (last spring), I went to the beach alone.

For a week.

I stayed in a beach cottage with which I fell head over heels in love. The bedroom I slept in was the palest pale green you can imagine... really just white with a hint of lime. And every time I walked in the door, the faintest whiff of something fruity and fresh hit my nose, for just a second. Tantalizing. (The day before I left, I realized it was the candle on the dresser.)

The kitchen was amazing because it was all mine... for a week. In the style of beach cottages, it was two stories and all the living was done upstairs. Downstairs was a mudroom and washer and drier.

There was a deck with a picnic table and swing and I tried to sit on the swing and have my devotions but it was too cold. So I mostly just looked at the deck.

I wasn't really sure why I went. I called it a "spiritual retreat" because it sounded pretty good, and it gave a title, however inaccurate, to whatever the heck I was doing there.

I stayed up extremely late watching Pride and Prejudice and doing extensive internet research on colleges, fully intending to come to a decision. Well, I don't remember what decision I came to that week, because a few weeks after I got back, I changed my mind and decided on one particular university. Now I have probably changed my mind again. But thanks to my widespread research, I now get a weekly batch of "you-should-come-to-our-school" mail that I haven't bothered to unsubscribe from yet.

Guess I should do that.

I tried to write, too. It was going to be a breakthrough week of writing and spiritual-ness and college-deciding. Well, I wrote a little. In fact, I actually dreamed up my favorite character so far there, so that's something!

But mostly, instead of writing, I made large batches of boxed brownie mix that I'd brought with me and, since I couldn't figure out how to use the oven, ate un-godly portions of the stuff out of a big bowl, with a spoon. AND THEN, I discovered what I like to call Microwave Mug Brownies, and my life changed forever.

I took a ferry ride and got caught late at night on a tiny island, just me and my Honda, without my license. It was safely at the cottage, in my purse, where I'd left it. And as luck would have it, they were doing a license check to board the ferry.
I will forever be grateful to the kindly man who simply asked for my name when I was on the verge of a full-on panic attack.

I read deep books with obscure quotes like "There is a moment in each day that Satan cannot find" (William Blake), and pretended to understand what they meant. Or maybe I did understand what it meant. I don't now.

I took approximately five jillion and one dorky pictures of myself because - why not?!

And one glorious morning, my second to last day there, I watched the sunrise over the ocean. I took pictures, and I drank it in. (And my coffee.) I sat on the cold, damp sand and didn't feel it one bit. I walked and smiled at early-morning dog walkers and joggers. And I felt my soul grow and stretch a little to take in the spectacular beauty on display.

I don't really know what that beach trip was all about, to tell you the truth. It was barely planned, and aimless and desperate and uncertain. I was afraid, and it wasn't tourist season so there wasn't much to do. I was also very lonely inside my head. But there were moments of glory so thin, I was absolutely certain I could reach through and just touch heaven with the tip of my finger.

And there was also a lot of realizing that spiritual revelations, growth, understanding... these things can't be planned. They can't be scheduled. I planned many an excellent encounter with God, and when I got there, nothing like what I expected happened at all.

And then He would show up in the strangest places - like late at night, with a thunderstorm tossing raindrops up against the windows like darts, and me staying up late and simply soaking in His presence.

He would show up in the book I stumbled across while snooping through closets, which I then proceeded to read in it's entirety in 6 hours. He showed up in every word, as they went straight to my heart like well-aimed arrows, stripping away and comforting and helping me blossom.

I highly recommend taking a vacation with yourself at least once before you die. (I fully plan to take another, or 10.) Because truth is, God will show up. It won't be what you expected or planned, and you'll probably have a hard time explaining it before and after to your friends, family, and the pastor you begged the usage of the cottage from. But somehow, in some little way, some obscure and yet still significant way, you will be changed.

And hopefully, your eyes will be able to see with a little more wonder, a little more expectation... and a few more of the dragon scales will flake off like so much dandruff.

(Now that's a pleasant metaphor!)

School, Rain, and Smelling Like Subway

2011-10-13T17:53:00.000-04:00

I'm sitting at the corner of Market and Main, in a second-story study area with two walls of windows. I'm pretty sure this is a bad idea for most people's study habits, but it's a good idea for mine.

I can't do blank white walls when I study. I need movement and life and things surrounding me to twig my ideas and remind me that I'm not all alone, and in doing so, remind me that I am accountable. Even if only to the random guy in the library, I am accountable at least not to zone out staring off into space or appear too zombie-ish while I mindlessly browse Pinterest.

It reminds me, in fact, that I exist in the land of the living, and should probably remember to act accordingly.

This is a strange but real phenomenon in my life.

8 Things: 

1. This is most assuredly going to be TMI, but when has that ever stopped me? Here it is: twice this week, I have been forced to use a toilet-seat cover for toilet paper. TIME TO RE-STOCK, PEOPLE!

2. I smell like Subway. Just because I entered the building. On my list of pathological olfactory dislikes, having my entire body smell like a 6-inch cold cut ranks second only to my hands smelling like rubber.

3. Obviously, I have a thing about smells.

4. It rained today.

5. This is important. Somehow.

6. A man just walked down the sidewalk wearing a black trench coat, dark beard and black fedora. I thought of this:

7. And speaking of Fiddler on the Roof, I asked my long-haired Bolivian brother-in-law if he would please be Lazar Wolf for Halloween.

8. He said no.

My Alias Expired [why fake names are for criminals and professionals, i.e., not me.]

2011-10-09T21:29:00.001-04:00

After that last identity-crisis post, I have no doubt that you're a little wary about reading anything I have to say. I know I am.

But what I'm here to say is actually kind of interesting. Almost a little... funny :)

I'm coming clean.

I decided that I don't want to have two separate ministries and two separate "lives" - and two names with the same face. So Abbie Michaels is now, for better or for worse, dead. And Abbie Miller is re-emerging, rocking the boring, Amish-sounding last name. And hopefully... the world!

In case you're wondering why I used a fake name in the first place, it was a combination of reasons including but not limited to: watching/reading too much Anne of Green Gables in my lifetime, thinking my real last name wasn't unique enough for a writer [it's probably not] and the fact that I always wanted to write under a pen name.

The things I didn't consider:

Keeping my writing life separate from my real life gradually began to undermine my sense of self. This was not a good thing.
Keeping up with two Facebooks and two Twitters is not for the faint of heart. And I am very, very faint of heart. (Also, I kept getting suggestions to become friends with my other self. Awkward.)
I want to continue getting involved with ministry, and writing, and maybe in the future, traveling and speaking (maybe). And I want to do that as one person.

One single, solitary Abbie Miller. Nothin' more. Nothin' less.

:)

[So if you're Facebook friends with me, guess what? You can friend the real me here.]

Abbie, 17 Ways

2011-10-06T19:52:00.000-04:00

I was writing in my journal the other day.

This is in itself is not unusual, but my journal probably is. You see, my journal is less like a record-of-what-happened-today kind of log, and more a personal psychological analysis chronicle. Which is more or less code for Diary of a Mad/Psycho White Girl.

I'm a chronic fixer; I feel the need to fix everything and everyone, including myself. So my journal is where I go to dig down deep in my own muck and draw out whatever splinter of messed up-ness that may be festering there.

There is a lot of baggage that comes with being a fixer. Sometimes I just want to march up to God's Customer Service desk, hand back my personality with all its quirks and oddities, and demand a new one. But something keeps telling me that God knew what He was doing. So I hold onto it for now.

Anyway, as I was saying.... I was writing in my journal, and I found myself exploring a topic I'd never really given much in-depth thought to before. And it is thus:

I "mix" in a lot of circles. I have numerous and widespread friends, and most of them don't know each other. I have pockets of family that I insert myself into and become part of. I have chunks of acquaintances and colleagues and fellow-students, all of whom I relate to and interact with on some level.

In fact, I wrote them all down and counted - about 17 different "circles". (Probably more if I got really specific.) And I realized that I face a real struggle with somehow managing to be the same person in all of those circles.

I think it's an issue of safety. Of guarding my vulnerable, tender places. In some groups, it's safe to be a writer. In some, it's safer to just be sarcastic and funny, or emotional or a shopaholic. In some, it's safe to be creative and artistic. Sometimes it's safe to be a leader, other times it's safer to be a follower. Some groups make me feel comfortable with being slightly neurotic and impractical - in others, I feel pressured to be controlled and down-to-earth. In one group I may act quiet and reserved, while in another I take on the role of the assertive one. I wear many, many, many hats. And it's exhausting.

Some of this, of course, is due to all the other people and personalities in the mix. We all bring out different traits in each other. But more than anything, i think it's a matter of defense - I'll take the path of least risk to my self-esteem, please! The only problem is that this leads to a condition that I've come to call "Chameleonitis".

Chamelionitis (n.)
/kuh-meel-ee-yun-iytis/

- The condition of having a personality like that of a chameleon. Usually brought on gradually and without the person knowing it, symptoms include changing when convenient and needed, fear of expressing it's true self fully, and lack of certainty about who that self really is.

How do I reconcile the many different Abbies, with the Abbie I perceive myself to be, and the Abbie I actually am? [And just who is that, exactly?] I don't think I'm the only one struggling with these chameleon-like tendencies. It's tempting and easy to be fickle people, disloyal to ourselves, and the God who made us. It's just that most people seem to either grow out of it in, oh... say high school... or live with it the rest of their lives.

But I fit into neither category. I'm struggling with it now, approaching my twentieth birthday, coming to a lot of realizations and experiencing a lot of rude awakenings.

In short, what others might call an "identity crisis", I am choosing to call "chamelionitis" for several reasons.

1. "Identity crisis" makes me think of mid-life crisis, and I am nowhere near buying a motorcycle or cheating on my husband.

2. I don't have a husband. (This is unrelated. Just thought I'd better clarify.) And if I did, I would not cheat on him.

3. Identity crises are usually portrayed in stories, books and movies as being short-lived, maybe even just a few hours or days long. They're usually weathered from the comfort of the girl's couch, with Baskin Robbins ice cream, chick flicks and girlfriends to get her through. Chameleonitis is nothing like that. It can last for months - even years. It's a very lonely ailment, because no one else can quite understand. And while it's not ever-present and all-consuming, it doesn't simply go away if you try to talk or reason yourself out of it.

4. The last reason involves hope. Unlike "Stick-it-to-da-man-niosis", Chamelionitis is not terminal. It's not a repeat offense, like Oh, she's just having another crisis. Who's buying the Starbucks and Krispy Kreme's this time? It's a sickness, but there's light at the end of the scaly, confusing, question mark-shaped tunnel.

So for now, I'm left with a lot of questions. This is not going to be one of those cliche, band-aid solution posts in which I tie up all the loose ends for a nice, neat conclusion. BUT.... even though I may go through times of feeling slightly hysterical and depressed and scattered as a person, things are slowly working. This whole journey isn't about arriving... it's about the journey! And I know somehow... deep down... that things will be okay in the end.

Just not my idea of okay.

{And that's a good thing, because my idea of okay is living with a social problem like this for 19 years and then giving it an amphibious name and blogging about it.}

Mini-Embarrassment Epic: Coffee-Scented Paper

2011-10-05T00:18:00.000-04:00

Actually, today was apparently a day themed toward personal humiliation, because in Public Speaking class this morning, we had to give an impromptu speech on the topic of... our most embarrassing moment. I told this one.

Later, I strolled into English class in my mustard sweater (hello, Fall!), cuffed jeans and flats carrying my cup of Autumn Roast coffee and feeling pretty good about the world in general. I was talking to my friend, the guy who looks sorta like a big, brown teddy bear, while our professor handed out papers.

The topic came up that the papers were still warm from the copier. As we were laughing about warming our hands on the paper, I thought I heard my teddy bear friend say "Your copy smells good."

That's weird, I thought. But I promptly stuck the paper to my nose anyway, and sniffed (leaving a makeup smudge in the process, thank you cheap foundation!) About that time, three things happened:

1.) My friend about fell out of his chair laughing.
2.) I realized he had not, in fact, said Your copy smells good. He was actually commenting on the aroma of my Autumn Roast.
3.) I about fell out of my chair laughing.

Your coffee smells good.

The End.

Brain Stew

2011-09-28T17:50:00.000-04:00

By brain stew, I mean that the things I'm about to share with you have been stewing in my brain and bubbling around in my soul for about a week now.

"We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love." - Dr. Seuss
The couch to 5k running plan is currently in my life right now. I love it and hate it. Mostly hate it.
Pinterest. I don't know where it came from, where it's going, or how long it's been here, but I recently hurtled myself at the bandwagon with alarming ferocity. I think I'm obsessed.
I need more time. Literally, I need every minute of my life to actually last for about 4 minutes. During this time, I would manage to get everything done and watch New Girl. That would be really awesome. Okay, thanks.
My region of the globe has been experiencing thunderstorms/rainy weather for almost 2 weeks straight. I am in artist-y bliss.
Would anyone like to donate to my Starbucks-therapy fund? PenPal button coming soon. (Kidding. I think.)
I love this lady. We need to switch lives for a week or 2. She could get my life straight, and I could wear really cute clothes.
Does anyone have the cure for procrastinating? Or at least some tips other than the ever-popular Just do it? Because that one's getting on my nerves, and I need a cure that doesn't actually require me to do anything.
I need to decide which to ask for for Christmas/my birthday: Really nice running shoes and a new iPod, or a DSLR camera.
#9 proves quite clearly that I am a spoiled, middle-class American young adult who still lives at home.
I want to erase #9 now.
Do you read Jon Acuff? If not, I think you should. But only if you take yourself very, very seriously.
Okay, my brain is feeling much more at rest now, and decidedly stew-less. Happy Wednesday!

A Tuesday Prayer

2011-09-20T23:58:00.000-04:00

photo credit

Teach me to see beauty and laughter and joy and your grace in all the little moments that I can. To realize that this "humdrum", "routine", everyday life that I live... well, it's part of "it". It's what you've given me now. It's worth recording and reveling in and remembering.

Every moment.

photo credit

Sunlight captured. Dreams coming true in your time. A little time taken to enjoy reading. Beauty in photographs. In music. In night noise.

So easy to rush through, blinded. Convinced that my small-minded agenda rules the world, and my fate.

What if I breathed deep, and was thankful? Rejoicing.
In pain because I can feel.
In discontent because it pushes me onward and presses me deeper.
Is questions because there is more yet to learn.

between the bars & late-night nights

2011-09-14T23:35:00.002-04:00

***Update: apparently staying up late has more grammatically damaging effects than I'd realized, considering the title of this post... late-night nights? really? Totally leaving it, for the sake of real-ness. Or something. Could just be I'm too lazy to fix it. Over and out.***

Some nights just require listening to this song on youtube (x infinity), and doing some soul searching and thinking and journaling and staring into space and maybe shedding a tear or two, and praying.

This is one such night.

Dear John Paul White,
Your facial hair makes me swoon.
[Which is an extremely rare event.]
Too creepy?
Sorry.

Conquering My Fear: A Photojournalistic Exposé

2011-09-07T20:32:00.001-04:00


The idea of public speaking...

...used to terrify me.


I would much rather have done this.

Or this.

Or even this.


Public speaking was a lion, and I was a zebra on a motorcycle. Or something like that. At any rate, it was to be avoided at all costs.

Because stage fright is a very real thing.

And then, well, not to get too gory, but... the lion caught up to the zebra. So to speak.

By way of a required class and a $150 textbook.

I immediately began packing my bags.


But then JK Rowling inspired me. (Commencement speech at Harvard.)

[video here]

And Denise Hildreth Jones inspired me.

[video here]

And I started thinking... maybe I could enjoy this!

Maybe I could actually get good at this!

Nervousness and stage fright are still very real. My armpits still gush violently.

But today, after practicing my next speech in front of the mirror for 5 hours...


...I did a little happy dance. [And I THINK that's a good thing.]

I might learn lessons the hard way...

But still. I learn them.

Jigsaw

2011-09-04T23:15:00.000-04:00

Like a puzzle piece, I turn myself this way and that. Searching for that one right spot. I hold me up to the light and examine my edges.

Looking for my place.

Forcing me into that one spot there…. That could work. Just bend this part a little bit… let that edge buckle and crease. I almost do it, but my fingers stop on the way there.

It wouldn’t be right.

No satisfaction in that. No contentment in knowing I made it work. Keep searching, keep trying different spots.

One day this puzzle will take shape. It will be a very brave, beautiful puzzle. Right now though, it looks kind of like the remains of a hydrogen bomb spread out across my table. Pieces here, pieces there. Upside down and scrambled up. They all disagree with each other in riotous color.

I hold my piece up to the light again. Maybe I should just accidentally drop it on the floor. Or set is aside until later. How frustrating, trying to find that one stinkin’ spot.

What a small scrap of cardboard, yet significant.

Like a puzzle piece, with a big question mark on the end, I hover and peer over the assortment of possibilities. Only a crazy, wild hope keeps me going. Looking. Trying out one more empty groove…

…One day, this puzzle will be whole.

I need a cute bag to match my hobo self.

2011-08-29T17:58:00.000-04:00

Envy.
I'll admit it.

Thanks to hurricane Irene, I am now living like a pioneer. (Well, maybe if pioneers had cars, generators and

laptops that run on battery power...) But still, having no electricity, no internet and no AC has made me feel rather Stone Age-ish, and slightly perturbed.

I spent the weekend splashing in puddles, watching movies, reading and writing. Actually, I spent a lot of time putting off the actual act of writing. But whatever.

Today, I have spent the entire day in Wandering Pilgrim mode. I was scheduled to work, but the store had no power. So on the understanding that I was on "standby" in case the electricity came back on, I packed some work clothes just in case and set off in pursuit of caffeine and wi-fi. And air conditioning.

That was 8:30 this morning.

It is now 5:52 and I have successfully spent the entire day away from home. (Bonus! Dinner at my sister's house is still to come. Score.)

Pandora has been my friend today. Also, I would like to send a shout-out to Starbucks and McDonalds. They have hosted my hobo self for hours on end.

Lot's happening in my little brain lately, but something about being in public places gives me writer's block (and apparently, studying block.)

Here's hoping I emerge from the Stone Age soon....

- Abbie

The post of utter honesty.

2011-08-25T23:16:00.001-04:00

I'm gonna be honest here.

[Not for the first time, and hopefully not for the last!]

It's always weirded me out a little, thinking of people in my "real life" stumbling across my blog and reading it. It's not that it's a closely guarded secret or anything, but I just don't really advertise the fact that I blog. My mother reads it. And both my sisters. And probably a handful of other random people I know. But that's about it.

The simple truth is, I'm a very private person. I'm secretive when it comes to my struggles. No doubt due to a whole cornucopia of psychological reasons. But we'll deal with those another day ;)

In fact, I'd like to take my blog in a new direction... one involving a little more realness, a little more transparency... a little more honesty about the struggles I go through and the yuckiness I deal with.

Because y'all? I don't have it all figured out. Yeah... we know, you say.

But the truth is, sometimes I pretend to. Sometimes I fall into the trap of using this place as a band-aid solution for crappy stuff. I slap a pretty picture up here, write something funny and call it a day. And I feel good, because at least this one little piece of me is in order.

Humor is therapeutic for me. It's also one of my favorite things in the whole wide world.

Anne Lamott said:

"I was very shy and strange-looking, loved reading above everything else, weighed about forty pounds at the time, and was so tense that I walked around with my shoulders up to my ears, like Richard Nixon.

... I was very clearly the one who was going to grow up to be a serial killer, or keep dozens and dozens of cats. Instead, I got funny."

I identify with this a little. Okay, a lot.

Funny is good. But I can't use it as a crutch. That will only keep me weak and dependent. Laughter is the best medicine, yes, but it's not the cure.

I'm currently sifting through a lot of things. My faith is intact, but its receiving an old fashioned shakedown. Mostly, I'm dealing with the issue of identity. What is mine? How do I find it? What do I want it to be? Who did God create me to be?

My brain feels too small to process these big thoughts sometimes. And so I must write. And, I figure, why not write some of it here? Where it can actually be shared and passed around and laughed over and cried over and maybe, possibly... help someone.

Don't worry. I don't plan to become all mystic and abstract. There will be Embarrassment Epics and Dorkiness galore. But maybe... just maybe... there will be a little more depth, too.

Growing,

Abbie

Monday Evening Musing

2011-08-22T20:31:00.000-04:00

Welcome to the new Abbie Writes :) Since I'm already wearing boots and sweaters (short-sleeved!) and pretending it's Fall anyway, I figured I might as well change things up around here too!

Today was one of those kind of days.The kind you breathe in deeply and savor because there won't be many of them left before it's crisp and cool.
The kind you want to take into your very soul because, hey what if you don't live to see another day this glorious? (That, my friend, is a dark side!)
(Hey, just being honest here: these things occur to me occasionally!)

I ordered these books today :

Excited? Me?!

Most definitely.

Something a little crappy did happen today...

This morning, before I'd settled in good to have my devotions, I got a phone call from my bank. Never a good sign.

Turns out, someone in California bought $400 worth of gas using my debit card number.

Oh great Lord, this is just what I need! I thought. But I wasn't frantic. Measures can be taken. New cards can be sent. Claims can be filed to get my money back.

What I'm wondering is how on earth someone needed $400 worth of gas. That's quite a few gas tanks. They must've called their friends!

(I'm joking about this because if I don't laugh, I'll cry.)

I love this song by Norah Jones. It makes me smile and laugh. So unexpected and original.

Favorite line? So I chose you... because you're sweet. And you give me lots of lovin'. And you eat meat.

Here's a quote that I really liked - from my English Rhetoric textbook of all things!

"If our culture sets you adrift in pluralism, argument can help you take a stand, to say, "These things I believe."

In this text, we will not pretend to tell you what position to take on any given issue. But as a responsible being, you will often need to take a stand, to define yourself, to say, 'Here are the reasons that choice A is better than choice B, not just for me, but for you also.' "

All this, after talk of Socrates and the Sophists, and the relativism vs. absolute truth argument earlier in the textbook... I found it very refreshing and maybe even a little... inspiring?!

Well, I think this very scatter-brained collection of thoughts just about wraps it up. I really want to try to make a concerted effort to organize my individual posts a little better by topic... (what a concept!) But, as my procrastinator-self delights to say: I'll do that tomorrow!

This time last year: College, Yo! (my, some things don't change!)
This time 2 years ago: This is what happens...

Happy Monday!

Ask Abbie: Belated Session

2011-08-19T12:57:00.000-04:00

Questions have been piling up in my Formspring. (Well, not really piling up. A small accumulation is more like it.) So I thought I'd take this opportunity to answer them. Because what else could you possibly need to do on a beautiful August Friday?!?!!?

What motivates you to blog about your life?
Good question. To be honest, sometimes nothing. Which is why 3 weeks might go by without nary a peep out of me. But that's really just a summer thing. I'm back now :) Anyway, I'm motivated by the coolness of having my life recorded in picture and word-form, forever. My memory is faulty =/
I'm also motivated by the friendships I've developed through blogging, and by knowing that the lessons I learn the hard way can sometimes help someone else struggling through the same thing.

What's the best book you've ever read?
I feel like I've already answered this questions in a past Q&A session... but I'm too lazy to look. Besides, my answer is probably different now anyway. Well, maybe not. I have to say, What's So Amazing About Grace? by Philip Yancey. Life changing.

You seriously have such a great sense of humor. I was going to say form of humor, but I don't think that's an actual thing. Ahem. Back to the questions: what is your favorite form of chocolate? (ha! I got the word "form" in there!) Also, have you ever seen
Hm. I don't know who asked this questions, but I'm very curious. Also, apparently there's a word count minimum! Hello, random person who asked me this questions 7 months ago.... Are you out there?? Have I ever seen what?
My favorite form of chocolate, as of now, comes packaged in a brown plastic wrapper and bears the letters S-N-I-C-K-E-R-S on the front.

Where would you like to travel to most?
Scotland or Russia.

Are you on Twitter?
Yes.

Have you ever had a Canadian cookies and cream Hershey's chocolate bar?
Umm... I'm not sure. I've had an American cookies and cream Hershey's chocolate bar... are the Canadian ones different? (I've also had Ukrainian and German chocolate... I'm so cultured, I know ;)

Which accent do you like better, Australian, Scottish, British, Irish, French or Italian?
That is a mean question. Because I think I have a crush on an movie star of each accent... but I have to say Scottish <3

Belgium chocolate or dark Hershey's chocolate?
Belgium chocolate; I'm not a dark chocolate person.

~ ~ ~

What I love: how many of these questions contained the word chocolate =D We are a like-minded bunch, and I'm pretty sure we should all get together and have a chocolate party. The end.

Happy Friday!!!

In which I reveal the sad extent of my chronic geekiness

2011-08-17T23:44:00.001-04:00

Ahoy there!

3 things before we begin:

1. I overslept this morning and did not shower. Therefore my recently chopped-off hair is sporting two days' worth of styling product.
2. Dave Ramsey and I had a rather stern meeting today, and well, let's just say I won't be buying too many cute hats and scarves this fall =/ (I would share my budget plan with y'all, but I'm too embarrassed to make public the percentage I allow for coffee!)
3. I don't watch or read the news. I listen to it in the mornings via podcasts. While sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of my mirror, troweling makeup onto my face. It scares me a little to write that.

Phew. Glad those things are off my chest. Now we can get down to business. This will be brief because 5 am is coming quickly, and my sleep is hanging in the balance here.

Ahem.

Tomorrow is my first day of school! (well, for this year, anyway!)

I'm excited because I'm one of those unlikely souls who truly enjoys school. I savor the whole academic setting, and I'd usually rather study than go out on the town. Nerdy and reclusive? Perhaps.

But for me, the pros of school far outway the cons.

"So, you drink unsweetened cinnamon light soy lattes?"

Pros include:

Lots of driving, and therefore thinking/praying/listening/singing-at-the-top-of-my-lungs time.

Coffee.

Laptops.

Reading.

Schedules.

New friends.

Coffee.

Entertaining teachers.

The End :)

The cons... well, except for not having Ryan Reynolds to bring me coffee every morning, I won't talk about the cons yet. Plenty of time for that later, in... say, about 6 weeks when the rose-colored nerd glasses have been plucked off and stomped on by the proverbial playground bullies and all I want to do is whine and cry.

Dear School,

I love you. Dearly and everlastingly.

Please remind me of this in about two months or so, when I'm angry and stale

and tired and grungy, and sick of lugging around my green shoulder bag and

practicing French in the car.

Love,

Abbie

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Oh yeah, and p.s. . . .

If you're interested, here's a list of the classes I'm taking:

French 101
English 112
Public Speaking 100 (gulp.)
Health and Nutrition 138

That's it for now, homeskizzles. Good luck to everyone starting school now, soon or in a few weeks! Also, comment and tell me about your classes :)

Sniffles and Exciting News

2011-08-11T10:02:00.000-04:00

Greetings. I have the sniffles. That means I have been turned into a 19 year old child; clingy, whiny, and pathetic.

But on the bright side...

- I am on an Epic Road Trip with my friend Lisa.
- I got my haircut. Even though I was trying to grow it out. I just adore short hair - can't get away from it.
- Yesterday, we went to the beach.
- Tomorrow there will be a forrealz Real Teen Faith reunion/retreat with BJ Hamrick and Halee Matthews!
- There will be chocolate, craziness, Starbucks (pretty please??) and lots of laughing. And I can't wait! I'm sure we'll be brainstorming up some Real Teen Faith awesomeness and I'll be sure to try to post about some of our shenanigans.

So stay tuned!

Once, I disappeared from the globe. But then I came back.

2011-07-07T17:48:00.003-04:00

Hello.

My name is Abbie.

I don't expect you to remember me, and that's okay. Recently I fell off the face of the earth. It was pretty intense. I hate falling off the face of the earth, technologically and relationally speaking. Makes me feel all inconsistent and lame.

I've been at camp, but since legally I cannot post pictures of the punks I've been taking care of, all you get is this retarded picture of me, sans cute little campers:

I've been having a total blast being in charge of a cabin.

So you may be wondering what I'm doing this week, sitting in Starbucks writing and drinking frappuccinos by the gallon? Well, they gave me the week off since apparently most families don't like to send their kids to camp the week of 4th of July. Who knew?

One other thing: this song has made my life and soul complete.

Happy Summer, everyone :)

I hope you'll be hearing more from me in the coming weeks <3

- Abbie

p.s. I've been getting all your sweet notes and comments requesting the return of me and my weirdness. Even though I think you're all terrible gluttons for punishment, it made me feel very loved. *Smile*

in the style of absent bloggers....

2011-05-17T11:44:00.001-04:00

(Do you like how I keep posting pictures of petulant and/or frustrated people to represent myself?)

Actually, the picture above is from the movie How Do You Know, which I just watched and totally loved Paul Rudd's sweet, neurotic character. But anyway...

I'm trying to get back into the habit of writing. Really I am!

Since I no longer have a pile of school books to toss around and hide behind as an excuse as for my slackness, it seems I'll have to come up with something else.

A bicycle accident involving Hugh Grant is out. Used that one before.

The runaway gypsies wielding spatulas probably won't fly either.

So unless you would believe that I suddenly became diagnosed with epilepsy and have been having seizures nonstop for 2 weeks straight, and have therefore been completely unable to type... you'll just have to believe me when I say a lot has been going on... little things have happened, big things have happened, and I have news to share with you guys. Not now... but soon!

Happy Tuesday!

- Abbie

On the airwaves... sorta.

2011-05-04T01:04:00.000-04:00

So, last Sunday afternoon, BJ Hamrick and I were interviewed on the radio.

I somehow managed NOT to stutter too much, talk about Hugh Jackman, or refer to myself in the third person, so I think it was a success. My armpits were, however, spouting like geysers before, during, and afterward, even though I was doing the interview from the comfort of my own couch. Sometimes calm, cool and collected is totally an illusion =D

Excessive perspiring notwithstanding, it was a lot of fun. Click here if you want to have a listen :)

(Also, yes, BJ's voice does sound completely adorable.)

So I guess you guys aren't going to let me get away with this, huh?

2011-04-27T23:03:00.000-04:00

And by "this", I mean this whole "not-blogging" thing.

My sister told me I was the slackest blogger ever.

I told her to stop creeping my blog.

And several of you have emailed, sweetly and politely giving me the proverbial kick-in-the-behind. So in an attempt to live up to ye olde blog's name... I shall write.

But you see, sitting down to write creates a problem. I can think of absolutely nothing to write about, unless of course, you want to read about the math homework I have to do, the fact that I am watching Appaloosa, or the disturbing truth that my history professor habitually dances to Baby Got Back in class.

The truth is, I've stopped looking for the interesting and write-worthy things in my everyday life, and have started focusing simply on getting through, and that is a tragedy in and of itself.

Note to Self: Start re-cultivating your gift for the absurd! I miss it.

Oh, here's one thing that happened: my car rolled away today. Without me in it. It's true! I happened to dash out to my car between classes to grab a book I'd forgotten, and from a couple hundred yards away, I could tell something was off.

As I got closer, I realized... it was several feet further away from the car I'd parked behind. Odd... maybe the other car relocated... Nope. Sure enough, my lil' Honda, Rhonda, had just taken it into her head to roll out of her parking space and into the main aisle, blocking it completely. Thankfully, I'd parked at the outskirts of the parking lot, and thankfully, no other cars were nearby for Rhonda to inadvertently collide with.

Note to Self 2: Always pull the parking brake!

- Abbie
Recovering Non-Blogger

Since it's already stuck in my head...

2011-04-13T22:41:00.000-04:00

... I figure I might as well get it stuck in yours as well :)

Happy Wednesday!

The Embarrassment Epics: Fear of Matrimony

2011-04-10T22:12:00.001-04:00

Most people who know me would testify that I'm in no rush to "rope me a man and get hitched". I'm of the opinion that marrying young would be a very bad idea for me, so I'm a solo flier for the time being.

That being said, I try not to be rabid about it. To me, always shouting the fact that you're not looking for a man seems almost like clear evidence to the contrary. So imagine my chagrin when, at a wedding this past December, I exhibited some very rabid-like actions.

First, a little back-story on bouquet tosses: I've never been a fan. In fact, I'm a bit paranoid of them.

Thankfully, at the two weddings that happened in this last year, that of my sister and my best friend, the bouquet was accidentally forgotten (Or maybe "accidentally" forgotten. Who can be sure?) so I was spared.

But at the wedding of some friends recently, they did not forget, and I could not escape.

Observe as the events unfold.

Realization set it. AH! IT'S COMING TO ME!

I don't remember conscious thought, except for a rabid desire to get away from that flying bouquet, which may as well have been flaming and covered in poison.

Yes, I actually lunged away from the bouquet and let it plop forlornly on the floor at my feet. In the process of lunging, I managed to empty my water cup all over my sweet blond friend in the gray sweater-dress.

I love the expressions on everyone's faces, and how they're covering their mouths. Did she really just...?

The groom, a good friend of mine who delights in the fact that I have blushing tendencies, yelled to the photographer "Get a picture of her red face!" And the wedding guests got a kick out of the whole thing, let me tell you.

Dear Friends and Family,

Please refrain from having any more marriages and thereby, weddings, in the next year. All of you. I'm sorry to make your happiness all about me, but I can't handle any more nuptials, and neither can my fragile pride.

Love,

Abbie

A Friday List

2011-04-07T00:01:00.002-04:00

Gigantaur ^ Midget ^

Hello!
Remember me? My name's Abbie. I've been here a time or two. In fact, sometimes I actually write stuff here. Cool, huh?
Well don't get excited. I don't have eloquent words or witty humor tonight. I just stopped by to make this list.
Before we go any further, please direct your attention to the URL way up there ^
It says abbiewrites.com!! Woot!
After going through the whole "domain purchasing" thing, which was super easy and cheap(ish), it immediately became apparent that I did not know what to do with my shiny new domain.
So I forgot about it for 2 months.
The I remembered it, and sat down one night with a very freaky, determined scowl on my face and pecked around on my computer until I figured out how to make everything work.
I don't remember how I did it, but that's okay.
Have you heard the truth about my family? If not, you probably should. Just...because.
(We're working on a new video now, set to I'm Going Slightly Mad, by Queen. Fitting, I think.)
Also, by "we", I mean Gigantaur and I (see above picture.)
I have chronically smelly feet. Really. I cannot find a cure.
Do you still love me after #13?
Morning Glory. Uhm, wow. Excellent movie. Please excuse me while I geek out over Patrick Wilson.
Squeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Thank you.
I'm beginning to think that my blogging style throughout my college career is going to consist of lists, occasional song lyrics, and the sporadic emotional outburst.
So be it!
It's better than not writing at all, only to wake up one day and discover that I have lost my ability to string two sentences together, and any motivation to try.
(This may or may not have actually just happened.)
My left arm is tanner than my right arm. Noticeably so.
I discovered this while sitting in Psychology class yesterday morning, and asked my friend to verify, just in case I was crazy.
Well, the verdict is still out on the crazy part, but she agreed that my right arm is indeed very white compared to my left.
I can only conclude that it's because I drive so much. Rhonda (the Honda) is practically my home. So to remedy this sad physiological quirk, I suppose I'll have to just double up on the amount of Jergen's Natural Glow I apply to my right appendage.
(Or, I could move to Europe and drive around a lot on the other side of the road, just to even things out....)

Off the the French Riviera....

- Abbie

p.s. At the risk of shameless cross-marketing, there's a writing contest starting today over at Real Teen Faith. Just FYI :)

She's Walking.

2011-03-28T20:02:00.001-04:00

The other night, I found this song and the words went straight to my soul in a way I can hardly describe. An unusual song, for sure, but it was exactly what I needed to hear. (The lyrics are now occupying that highly competitive space known as my desktop background :)

She Looks To the Sky

by Sherri Youngward

They say she is loved by the greatest of all
Who have walked in the world
He lives far away still she spends all her days
Content with only his words

She often walks alone
But never is she lonely
You can offer her anything
Her affections are all for Him only

She looks to the sky
As if He is coming down through the clouds up above
Though no one has seen Him you cannot deny
She is drenched in His love

All the day long she sings sweetly
She says He speaks to her mind
She’s only rich with affliction
Yet a bitter word you won’t find

She lives with assurance
He loves her too deeply to let such distance remain
She’s brimming with longing for Him to come calling
And sweep her away

~ ~ ~

You see, usually, hearing words like this would make me feel like a failure for not measuring up to this elusive example. But surprsingly, the usual feelings of inadequacy and failure did not resurface upon hearing of this mystery woman’s incredible walk with the Lord.

Only a longing for more of Him in own life, and a hope in knowing that the very same Lord in whom she trusted is working with me, cheering me on, picking me up when I fall, dusting off my bruised and broken heart, kissing my forehead tenderly, and coaxing me onward from behind, his hands never leaving my back.

Knowing God’s view of me is so incredibly vital. It determines how I view myself. And He has shown me how truly great His love is. He doesn’t react with anger and recrimination when I stagger a few steps, lose my balance and fall over clumsily. No, when I take those shaky steps, no matter how wavering and uncertain and goofy-looking they may be, He runs and grabs the bystanders, he gets out the camera, he laughs with delight and shouts with joy…

“She’s walking!”

{You can go here if you want to hear the song.}

To You, From the McDonald's Parking Lot

2011-03-24T23:37:00.002-04:00

Hooray for once-a-week blogging! This week, I feel as if my head has been taken off, shaken around, bounced up and down a few times, and then screwed back on.

No particular reason why.

At this time, I am sitting in the McDonald's parking lot, using wifi from the Hilton hotel across the street. It's one of those odd stormy spring days with fluffy black clouds and patches of sunlight bursting through every once in a while. The trees edging the parking lot are covered in blossoms, and a few minutes ago, when the wind swept through, they blew right in my window and landed on my laptop keyboard. I'm typing around them :) They're just too pretty to move!

I'm also listening to the Emma soundtrack because, what can I say, I'm kind of obsessed. And it's very fitting for the weather and my mood.

I go to work in 25 minutes, so instead of sitting here dreading that and doing algebra, I'm going to talk about something that has become a serious issue in my life. It's always been a problem, but now it's growing to mammoth proportions.

You see, I can't order.

Anything. Food. Coffee. Pizza. Ordering food for me has really become more of a debacle than a normal, practical part of life. A prime opportunity for me to exhibit my awkward dorkiness.

I really stink at ordering coffee. I just don't know how. So in Starbucks, when they ask me if I want Americano or "room", or frappe instead of cream, I just stand there mouth agape, wishing I hadn't already spoken so I could pretend I don't understand English.

Once, the Starbucks guy (not the semi-cute one who stole my job) asked if I wanted decaf or Americano, and I said "Yes." By observing the "you-are-a-total-idiot-can-you-please-just-leave?" deadpan expression on his face, I judged that "yes" was not the appropriate response.

This isn't the first time that's happened, though. Once, while at breakfast with friends, the waitress asked me how I wanted my eggs and I answered with ringing affirmative "Yes!"
It's still a joke to this day.

My defense is that I only hear the last part of what they say, and take it to be a yes/no question.

But it gets worse.

Recently, I was at Andy's, a little retro 1950's burger joint in my area, and when asked what I wanted on my burger, I said "Just fries."

I really have no defense for that one. I'm not sure what I was thinking, or thought I heard. But again, same expression as on the face of Starbucks boy, and I knew I'd said the wrong thing.

Please send help.

- Abbie

Haiku, do you?

2011-03-17T22:46:00.001-04:00

The first night I was at the beach, I was sitting alone in a house playing music just to break the silence, and trying to actually use my time for something other than sitting and thinking about how weird it was to be by myself.

So I did what every normal person would do... I wrote some Haiku poems. Sometimes I just feel the need to express my life, times, thoughts and feelings in an oddly-cadenced form of poetry. Apparently.

Here's the carnage (the best of it, that is, which leaves no doubt as to how bad the rest of them were.)

Today on the phone

I laughed and missed my cousin

We share disorders

Jane Austen movies

Are made of music and light

They are my default

I am at the beach

The house has become my own

Sailboat on the wall

It's a windy night

I could go to sleep or not

The music says yes

Brothers are sneaky

They love and fight and protect

They hide in my car

Pancakes from Bisquick

Do not a good breakfast make

The texture of tires

I will not make lists

Of things to do these six days

I am resting here

I really hope these thoughts from the deepest part of me have touched you in some way. I was speaking from a real and vulnerable place, and....

...just kidding. But you probably knew that already :)

p.s. Not kidding this time: even though I make light of my badly butchered renditions of their beautiful poetry, the people of Japan are heavy on my heart these days. A Japanese-American customer came in the store today buying lots of clothes to send to her family in Japan. Talking to her brought the tragedy home to me in a very real way.

Pray for them.

Sunrise on the Beach

2011-03-13T23:24:00.000-04:00

"There was never a night or a problem

that could defeat a sunrise or hope."
- Bern Williams

So I'm home from the beach, and both glad and sad about it. Mostly sad, to tell ya the truth, but only because I now have 18 loads of laundry to do, and two midterms tomorrow and the next day which I did zero studying for over the week. (Really, what kind of sick professor schedules a midterm exam the MONDAY after spring break? I ask you?)

But I'm also sad because my time at the beach was amazing. A little tough, mentally and emotionally at times, because being alone inside my head for the better part of a week was a new experience for me... but amazing, nonetheless. Now comes the struggle I always face after a time of spiritual refreshment... taking it home and plugging it in and letting it leak into my everyday life.

Still working with God on that one.

BUT. Before I am run away with my feelings (Name that Quote!), let me just tell you about Saturday morning.

Saturday morning, I pried myself out of bed at 5:30 am so I could get myself to the beach in time to watch the sunrise. (I tried and failed Friday morning. Hurray for second chances!) I brewed myself an absolutely terrible pot of coffee, then dumped in way too much creamer. But it was hot and it was caffeinated. 'Nuff said. Then I stumbled to my car and drove the 5 minutes and parked in the semi-darkness.

Then I trudged across the street and up the steps and down the boardwalk until...

The first glimpse of the horizon over the dunes...

...His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

Lamentations 3:22-23

I hoisted myself up onto a little ridge and commenced "sitting and watching the sunrise".

It really is way more romantic in books and movies. My rear end quickly got cold, so I started walking. (Liz On Top of the World playing in my earbuds...)

"If grace is an ocean, we're all sinking."

- David Crowder

No sun yet. Waaay down the beach, there's a woman walking her dog.

When she passed by, she eyed my coffee dubiously. Or perhaps jealously.

The sun! It's peeking up over the edge of the world...

It was amazing to watch how fast the sun rose once it appeared. I could hardly snap pictures fast enough!

(Ugh. You now know what I look like first thing in the morning. Just be glad most of my hair is hidden beneath that hood.)

Belly-down on the sand:

At no other time of day would pebbles cast shadows...

"But for you who revere my name, the sun of righteousness will rise with healing in its rays..."

Malachi 4:2

I probably looked hilarious, waiting until the wave came in, then rushing at it in a crouched position and snapping a picture before it could sneak away. But I wanted to capture the bubbles :)

Finally, after the sun was done with the most dramatic part of its climb, I started trekking back to my car.

"Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope..."

Lamentations 3:21

Beach Scenes

2011-03-11T23:54:00.001-05:00

(Because I know there's nothing you'd rather look at in March than my beach pictures.)

This is sad, but I'm beginning to realize that my photography skills are rapidly vacating the premises. I would blame it on the camera, but I've had the same one for 2 million years. I used to spend however long it took positioning and repositioning and anchoring my elbows to get the perfect shot. Now I just throw my arm up, snap a picture and hope you can tell what's in it.

Shame on me.

That being said, here are some pictures I done took. Enjoy!

My back deck. Perfect for spying on the neighbors across the creek!

Microwave Mug Brownie. Emergency fix turned new addiction.

The beach. It was cloudy and cold.

I found a giant water bottle on the beach!

Those pesky flip flops again... they keep popping up.

Sky, water, sand. (In case you were confused.)

A boardwalk! (Again, thought clarification might be necessary.)


A snapshot of a little island. Taken from the ferry, from inside my car because I was too scared to get out and go to the railing because no one else was and I didn't want to look like a total tourist. Also, it was cold.

The ferry carried me to this island. I drove for a long time.


Another boardwalk! This is where the graininess starts to get really bad. Look away if you're squeamish.

A lonely beach at dusk... (I didn't stay long.)

Goober.

The long drive back.

Note: This is a shout-out/thank you to the nice ferry-man who was doing a routine security check and kindly said he wouldn't tell anyone that I was driving without a license because I left my wallet at home. Thank you, kind sir!

(Maybe he thought I was a local!)

So, I'm at the beach...

2011-03-10T15:13:00.000-05:00

... I think you might have heard.

In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll tell you...

I've been staying up late and watching Pride and Prejudice 16 times and hammering out some serious decisions I've been struggling with lately.

I've been reading and writing. (Actually, I've been doing everything possible to avoid writing. For some reason, actually sitting down and doing it is the hardest part!)

I've been eating microwave-mug brownies (don't ask) and taking ferry rides. And I've been enjoying myself thoroughly in this awesome little beach house on this awesome little island.

Although, as Fredrick Buechner said of trying to plan a spiritual epiphany, "Nothing like what I expected happened at all."

- Abbie

Guest-Postage, by me :)

2011-03-07T19:45:00.000-05:00

You can find me guest-posting over at Meditations of His Love today...

Lessons Learned in the Valley

Although I'm not exactly in the same place I was when this was written (several months ago), it's still relevant and I hope it brings you further up and further in to God's glorious love!

A Messy Drawing

2011-03-07T06:08:00.001-05:00

There was a little girl once.

She was small and chubby and precocious and messy.

One day, she decided to color a picture for her Dad. She got out her paper and her biggest box of crayons, and started coloring. She scribbled intently, bottom lip puckering up in concentration. Each crayon grew warm and soft in her sweaty palm as she continued to add colors and lines to her beautiful picture.

There were lines she was supposed to follow, but she went outside them sometimes. It was more fun that way. She kept scribbling, faster and faster, growing worried that she wouldn't finish the picture in time to show her Dad.

Finally, she was finished. She held up her creation to look at it. Daddy will love it!

He came over to see, and she grinned shyly up at him, a gap-toothed smile. "Daddy, look what I drawed!"

"What do you have there?" He asked, smiling. She loved his voice.

He looked at it. Studied it carefully. And smiled. Picking her up, he tossed her in the air. Her giggles rang out loud and joyful. He caught her, and kissed her cheek.

"It's beautiful." He whispered in her ear. Then he swung her up on his shoulders. "Come on. Let's go for a walk."

_ _ _ _ _ _

I am that little girl.

Or at least, that's how I've been picturing myself lately. That crazy, scribbled drawing is the life-story I've been writing the past few months. The life I've been living. I've colored outside the lines and broken a lot of crayons and made a total and complete mess out of things.

And yet... I still bring it shyly to Him, wanting to know... Are you pleased? Do you think it's beautiful? I scribble feverishly, as a young child does. Solemn. Serious. And a miracle happens when his Father-Eyes look at my drawing. He turns it into something beautiful. Even though one day, I will look back and laugh at what a glorious mess it is, He sees it as the precious artwork of his little girl. And she's trying. With all the might in her little fist, she's trying.

And right now... He is whispering "It's beautiful". He is kissing my cheek. He is swinging me up onto His shoulders.

It's time for my walk.

_ _ _ _ _ _

My "walk" is taking place in the form of a solitary getaway to the beach. I'll share more of the details later. . .

On Comments and the Fact that You Guys are Awesome.

2011-03-04T05:09:00.008-05:00

Can I just say that you guys are pretty much awesome??

It's true. You are. I feel like a very selfish sponge right now - always taking in from you all, and rarely giving of myself by visiting your blogs or emailing or commenting. Just know that if I could, I would leave very thoughtful, funny comments on all of your wonderful, hilarious, insightful blogs. And I would respond to every email promptly. And I would...

... well, you get the picture.

Unfortunately, as well as feeling like a sponge, I also feel... "Stretched. Like chocolate pudding scraped across too much ham." (Name that line!) And --- shockingly --- I can't do everything I wish I could do.

But I'm constantly flooded with gratitude for the encouragement and advice you guys leave me (recently manifested in all of your awesome suggestions and kind thoughts on that college post.)

So thank you. From the bottom of my spongy, stretched heart :)

- Abbie

p.s. One thing I CAN do is send short, sweet email replies to some of your comments, like if you ask a question or say something that I really want to respond to. (For some reason, I hate commenting on my own blog. Weird? Maybe. It's also more efficient from my inbox.) But anyway, there's this pesky thing called noreply-comment@blogger.com that your Google profile defaults to if you don't change it. And, as the name suggests, it refuses to let me reply to your comment via email. So... pretty please... and if you want... read this :)

p.s.s. DANG. My blog is two years old today. Happy Birthday, Abbie Writes!! I think you're kinda fun :) I wish I had something cool planned, but alas. I am the soul of unpreparedness.
One year ago today...
Two years ago today...

Video of the Week

2011-03-02T07:23:00.000-05:00

Sorry to post another video so soon, but I really cannot get over the unconventional coolness of this:

Glad to be here to add plenty of culture and relevance to the blogging arena and your life...

Abbie :)

Choices, Decisions and All Manner of Confusion

2011-02-28T16:23:00.000-05:00

I am wallowing in choices and confusion.

I'm baffled by money (or the lack thereof) and what to do about it.

And I have apparently lost any decision-making skills I ever had.

Here's the lowdown; I'll be graduating from my community college with a transferrable associate's degree one year from now. But the transfer application process takes a while, not to mention scholarships, etc. So I need to decide what college I want to transfer to by this fall so I can start the ball rolling.

Since I was 16, I've taken for granted that I would go to a certain college. It was my "dream school", and after finding it, I didn't bother to consider any alternatives. But lately, I've decided against said "dream school", for myriad reasons, foremost being a lack of peace when I visited the school.

Life decisions seem so much easier when you set your heart on one thing and determine to stick it out no matter what.

But what if God makes you realize that He has a different plan for you?

That's when it's hard for me to be open-minded. Nevertheless, I'm now fully engaged in the search for a different school to attend. I'm looking for....

- A large-ish school. At least 1,000 students, preferably more. (Honestly, 500 students, most of them girls who may or may not be there solely to find a husband... I just don't think I would handle that well.)
- (And I don't mean to stereotype or be mean-spirited. But the facts don't lie.)
- Christian.
- Preferably east coast. But I'm not ruling out other options right now.
- And a lot more qualifications that seem to exist only in my subconscious, gut-feelings.

To be honest, this feels like a big, huge, ox-yoke around my neck and shoulders right now. (Interesting metaphor? I thought so.) But I've come to realize something about the Lord, and my walk with Him; He doesn't seem to reveal the next stepping stone until just before I need to jump.

Nice of Him, isn't it? Well, I guess it is in the long run... it's on of those "For my ultimate joy and His ultimate glory" things.

Nevertheless, if you have any advice or suggestions, hit me. If not, just a quick prayer for my wisdom and sanity would be appreciated more than you know.

<3

Abbie :)

Video of the Week

2011-02-22T22:01:00.001-05:00

**Update: I cannot spell. Or type. Because this is, in fact, a video, not a vide, as the previous title of this post would suggest. And I just had to google to be sure vide is nothing bad. It's not. :) **

A favorite scene from a favorite movie. (If you want to skip the beginning, the real awesomeness starts at 4:48. I love the song they dance to! So rowdy :)

Also, I love Mr. Knightley. He's so gallant.

The End.

Dating: An Utterly Single Girl's Perspective

2011-02-21T07:02:00.000-05:00

Not to beat a dead horse or anything with this theme but… I’m single.

19.

Never dated.

Utterly single.

Sometimes this bothers me, and sometimes it doesn’t. But it would be slightly more glamorous and valiant, I think, if I was single by choice… if I had turned down scores of guys and went on my lone, merry way.
But that’s simply not the case. . . . . Read the rest at Real Teen Faith

Guess what?!

2011-02-15T06:05:00.002-05:00

Today, if you were to happen to stop by, say...(in)courage, sometime today, you'd probably read something that came from my own crazy, insecure, neurotic self.

Yep. It's true. The awesome site is featuring something I wrote about... rest. Mostly though, I talked about my obsession with to-do lists, and how those dastardly things can really do some damage to a girl's soul.

I love this place, and I'm pretty psyched out of my mind to be published there.

Like Miles Finch.

It's one of those ideas I'm sorta psyched outa my mind about, ya'know?

=D

So hop on over, enjoy the read. My prayer is that it will touch you and that God will speak His truth into your heart and mind.

(in)courage - Come to me and I will give you...

Happy Heart Day [because i'm tired of the word "valentine"]

2011-02-14T06:39:00.001-05:00

First of all, before we proceed any further:

Amen.

And now, on to our regularly scheduled programming: 

Next year, I hope I don't have a problem with anti-Valentines Day views and ideas, like Cupid getting killed by his own arrow, or pictures like this:

Because they're hilarious.

But this year, I just don't want to be cliche.

So, dear person reading - whoever you are.... don't be cynical today.

Good grief, don't waste precious time and energy hating Valentine's Day if you're single.
And for the rest of you, don't take your Valentine for granted :)

I wish you a lovely day, whether you spend it in the company of your most-loved one, or buy yourself flowers and chocolate.

(Or watch I Hate Valentines Day on youtube, not because you hate Valentines Day, but because you love Nia Vardalos, and have never heard of this movie before and are a movie-freak and relatively sure that this one has a happy ending.)

Which one am I?

I'll plead the 5th.

:)

The Embarrassment Epics: Cute Guys and Blue Skies

2011-02-11T06:27:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, while perched on a barstool in Starbucks simultaneously listening to Pandora radio, sipping a grande sweetened iced coffee and working on Algebra homework, I suddenly became aware of a very cute guy entering the building. I watched covertly, pulling one earbud out of my head to overhear the conversation he had with the barista. (Pathetic much?)

I regretted it, because he was inquiring about a job he'd apparently applied for. I was instantly bitter because that would be the very same job I've applied for on two separate occasions and haven't gotten. Sad face :( The barista working said she was pretty sure he was "in" and that her boss wanted to start him tomorrow. I became even more bitter at that.

But I forgave him when he walked by on his way to sit down and smiled at me. (I smiled back. It was the only polite thing to do!)

He was sitting directly behind me on a couch, so I tried to act normal and not ask him what book he was reading.

But I'm sorry - a guy who reads? Sexy.

(Did I just type the word "sexy" on my blog? Twice?!?)

At any rate, I got back to work on my algebra and put cute boy out of my head. Now, the embarrassment epic is actually a two-fold incident, so prepare yourself.

First of all, I almost fell out of my chair when I twisted around and leaned over to plug my laptop in. It was one of those sudden, frantic scrambling-for-a-footing moments after which I tried to act completely normal. And probably failed.

A little later, I was feeling chilly so I pulled my black cardigan over my flowy, sheer blue top. Studying resumed for another half hour or so until it was time for me to pack up and head to work. Pack up I did, books and computer into the bag, purse slung over the shoulder. I strode out the door, pretty happy with life and snow and blue skies and cute guys.

Feelin' good.

I listened to French music on the 2-minute drive next door to work. Then I grabbed my lunchbox, change of clothes and purse and started walking toward the door. About midway there, I stopped to pull my sweater a little more tightly around me and.... something didn't feel right.

Looking down in dismay, I realized the seam and buttons were facing the wrong way.

Yes. Indeed. I was wearing my little black cardigan inside out, proudly sporting outward-seams and big obnoxious tags on the back and side.

I could only look up at the sky and have a little laugh with God. And then I started mentally taking note of the details so I could write about it later :) (At the rate I'm going, I'll never run out of material.)

(I also had a brief fast-forward-to-the-imaginary-future moment, where me and my boy were laughing about how the first time we met, I wore my sweater inside-out and almost fell out of my chair. Then I snapped myself out of that hyper-delusional girl moment.)

The End.

P.S. Please tell me you did something embarrassing this week. I could use a little reminder that I'm not the only occasional-dork out there :)

Your Video of the Week

2011-02-10T05:00:00.003-05:00

Okay, since I pretty much cannot stop listening to and singing this song (much to my siblings dismay), I'm gonna go ahead and post it here so you can all enjoy.

My favorite part: What I'm thinkin: CHICKEN. Bust the window...

The Myth of the Perfect Guy

2011-02-09T05:00:00.009-05:00

"I'm dancing with God, and someday He'll let the perfect guy step in."

I've heard that a lot. I'm pretty sure I've written it a few times, and variations of it. And there's nothing wrong with that, per se. But let me just put the shoe on the other foot for a second.

"I'm walking with God, and one day He'll bring the perfect woman into my life."

Anyone want to step up to be a perfect woman?

*Resounding thud as my rear end hits the floor*

The perfect man/guy. The perfect woman. Our expectations are not just high - they're unreachable. This may come as a shock to some but... there are no perfect people!

Except perhaps for Hugh Jackman. (Sorry.)

At any rate, here's what I have to say and then I'm done;

I don't think it's fair to insist upon waiting for "a perfect guy" unless we ourselves can bring perfection to the table. And clearly... we can't. So instead of setting ourselves up for disappointment and the poor guys up for failure, let's change our way of thinking, shall we?

We're not waiting for "the perfect guy", (or we'll be waiting forever!) but for "the right guy" God has for us.

10-4. Over and out.

- Abbie.

Last Q&A Session, with a twist

2011-02-07T19:08:00.000-05:00

That title is gruesome and sloppy and I'm too lazy to fix it.

How's THAT for a Happy Monday!?

So, I'm going to finish up that jolly Ask Abbie thing we had going last week, but stay anyway! Or at least scroll down to the bottom where things will get really fun. :)

How many books do you have waiting to be read?
You have no idea what a difficult question this is to answer. There are probably about 50 or more books in my room, weighing down my bookshelves, crying out to be read. But if we were to be more specific, relegate this to say... my nightstand... the answer would be: 18.
Thank you for asking that, because I now realize that I have an illness. 18 books on my nightstand? Really?

What do you procrastinate on?
Anything that's on my to-do list, which is basically everything.

What time do you usually wake up in the morning?
6 on Monday, Wednesday, Friday, 5 on Tuesday and Thursday.

What's the best book you ever read?
Hard question! I think I'd have to say "What's So Amazing About Grace", by Philip Yancey. Changed my life.

What's your absolute favorite dessert of all time?
Cake. Any flavor, every flavor. I am a cake freak.

What's your fashion obsession (i.e. - shoes, dresses, jewelry, etc.)?
Earrings. Or large, funky rings :) Or scarves. Or purses.
Oh dear.

Favorite vacation spot?
Either the mountains, or the Outer Banks.

Favorite thing to do in the summer?
Have water fights with my siblings, or read a good book in a lawn chair (with plenty of SPF 93,000,000.)

What's one of the best books you've read in the past year?
Thank goodness for the handy-dandy list I keep in my journal :) My goodness... I didn't read much in 2010! Well, if I had to pick, I'd say... I Feel Bad About My Neck, but Nora Ephron. No, I'm not middle-aged. But Nora Ephron is hilarious.

Favorite non-clothing store to shop at?
The Yankee Candle store. Not that I can afford the candles. But I can at least sniff every single fragrance until my olfactory region completely shuts down from smell-overload.

Favorite Starbucks drink?
Winter, summer, rain or shine, my favorite remains the icy Caramel Frappuccino- with plenty of caramel
sauce drizzled on top!

_________________________________________________________________

Okay, enough about me. Let's talk about you. I'm going to switch things up and ask YOU 5 questions that I think make interesting random knowledge about someone.

Feel free to leave your answers in the comments! Unless you don't want to. Which would be sad :(

1. What are 5 words that do NOT describe you?

2. If you could be one person for a day, who would it be?

3. What is one odd habit you have?

4. You have the opportunity to spend 1 month in a foreign country. Where would you go? What would you do? Who would you meet?

5. What is your most cherished career-dream?

Have fun with these! I can't wait to read your answers!

For your own safety...

2011-02-07T18:21:00.000-05:00

Click "No" when asked if you want to redirect to abbiewrites.com, or you'll land squarely on a very brightly-lit Godaddy page, which is entirely unnecessary.

Sorry about the annoyance (because I know your day will be WRECKED if you can't visit my blog with total ease!) I will hopefully have things up and running soon, and looking spiffy ;)

- Abbie

Why a Blog is Superior to a Book

2011-02-01T22:39:00.004-05:00

Reason #1.) If I were to write a book about this week, it would be called The Week Abbie's Life Caved In and She Spilled Every Substance She Touched and Forgot Numerous Important Details Pertaining to Her Life.

Killer title, eh?

I thought so.

I'll be finishing up the book proposal for it tonight and sending it in to Random House. Don't try to stop me.
But seriously though, my week has been... just wow. And it's not even WEDNESDAY yet. Sometimes I wonder why I was ever unleashed on the world.

Well, since it really would take a book to relate all the happenings of the previous few days, I will spare you the agony and instead tell you this:

I have this cousin.

He wears cowboy hats, and we share a signature wave (very long story) and matching large, pale feet.
He's also about 97 feet tall. For realz. He'll probably die of embarrassment over me posting this picture to which I say... At least I'm not posting the video! Yes, that's right, Cuz. You know the one. ;)

Anyway, my hilarious, boy-genius cousin wrote a song and made a video after being inspired by my oh-so-inspirational blog post about the Miami Piano.

I love this kid.

(I say "kid" to make me feel better about my own shrimpy self, and because I'm a whopping 1 month and 24 days older than he is.)

He just wrote a children's book. It's amazing. He'll come in very handy as a relative when he's published because he's the next Shel Silverstein and/or Dr. Seuss, and is rich and famous. Don't you think??

:)

Rich Listening

2011-01-26T22:53:00.001-05:00

I drive a lot. Upwards of 700 miles a week. (That's roughly 15 hours or so with my rear end plastered to a badly-upholstered car seat.)

Remarkably, the music on my iPod really began to get slightly old, and I have exactly $.38 cents in my iTunes account.

So I began to look for other listening options, because 15 hours a week down the hypothetical drain really pained me. What I've discovered in the process has been nothing short of awesome.

Here are some of the gems I've discovered - free!

- NPR podcasts. My dorky soul rejoices.

- The Village church. Matt Chandler's sermons are amazing. And his cancer story is heartbreaking. And inspiring.

- This American Life

- Quick and Dirty Tips

- Truth for Life - I've been a faithful Alistair Begg listener for a lot of years now, and not just because of his awesome Scottish accent =D

- Hatteras Island Christian Fellowship - Surfer dude Billy Rutledge is "pastor to the pirate-lands" and passionate for Jesus.

Wow... is that all I have? Seems puny when I just list them there in black and white. But they'll keep your ears entertained and your mind full.

Here's hoping you get some encouragement, enjoyment and/or laughter out of these :)

Happy listening!

- Abbie

I Have Nothing To Say Except...

2011-01-25T22:16:00.001-05:00

... I want to play this piano.

Thank you, that is all.

- Abbie

Ask Abbie: The Answers Part I

2011-01-23T20:11:00.002-05:00

This was so fun! You guys are super-creative with the questions - I love it!

(I'm going to leave that little box-thingy in a sidebar somewhere, so we can store up random questions for a future Ask Abbie session, 'kay?)

And now... without further ado...

The Q&A Session, Part 1

What IS your fav flavor of ice cream? Chocolate chip cookie dough, hands-down. Always good if there's extra cookie dough, too :)

Who is your LEAST favorite male actor? I'd have to say Keanu Reeves or Nicolas Cage.

Do you paint your toenails? YES. My actual, bare toenails have not seen the light of day in - literally - years, unless you count the times in between polishing when it starts chipping off. They are always some shade of pink, red, or peach.

Are you more on the art side of life, or the brains side of life? (not that you can't have both, but most people are, for example, good at math and can't draw, or love photography but couldn't diagram a dead frog to save their life...(ahem)...(that would be me)...) Great question! Made me laugh :) I am most definitely on the art side of life, although my drawings earn such comments as "Did your baby draw that?" And I don't have a baby. But my brain definitely bends toward the subjective, creative side of things.

Do you use a planner/calendar? YES. I would absolutely perish without mine, because I am flighty and scatter-brained. I have one large, leather zippered-binder planner, for Life Stuff, and one smaller spiral-bound calendar that I use to keep track of school assignments/homework.

How do you get space, living with your family all the time? Two ways;
1) I'm not home much of the time, when school's in session and I'm working.
2) I have an upstairs room to myself and it is literally my haven; probably hundreds of books, a TV, a little heater, amazing bed, a desk, and a laptop. And for a while, I even had my own coffeemaker set up in here, but it turned into too much hassle, getting water from the bathroom sink...

Have you ever cut your own hair? Yes. Countless times. My friend Gabby and I also used to cut each others hair, and we also cut my brother Ivan's once. It was gruesome.

What are your thoughts on the whole heavy metal genre of music? Heavy metal = not my cup o' tea. I prefer a weird blend of eclectic, classical, opera and pop.

Do you like the color/colour grey? I do. I really, really do. In fact, I'm considering painting my walls a silvery-gray. Or is it grey?

What kind of relationship do you have with your mum? Mum - love the British-ness. Tough one though. My relationship with my mom is mostly good, but we disagree and butt heads a lot. We're extremely different, but we both have strong opinions. Bad combination sometimes. I love her and she loves me though, and we end up okay in the end.

Are you still reading? Have you fallen asleep? (I wouldn't blame you if you did) Decided to do your homework instead of listen to me? I'm still reading with rapt attention; these questions are great! As for homework? Psh. I have not yet BEGUN to procrastinate.

Do you want to marry someone like your dad? In some ways but not in other ways? For example...? My dad is amazing. There are so many traits in him that I will look for in a husband, such as a quiet strength, extremely disciplined work ethic, and a boundless supply of patience. I think I would need someone a little artsier, though. My dad refuses to say "caramel macchiato".

What do you have as your background on your computer?
These cute little punks:

Where do you want to visit most in the world (besides England or Ireland or Scotland, which obviously are the 3 best places to go because the men there have the most dreamy accents. Thank you for pointing that out.) Right on with England, Ireland and Scotland :) Most of all, I want to visit Russia. The huge number of neglected orphans there is something I really have a heart for. I believe it's a calling.

What kind of iPod/mp3 player? iPod nano, 5th generation.

Do you journal? Not as in Bible-journal, but as in "here is what happened today"/thoughts/etc.? Sort of. I do keep a journal which I use mainly during my quiet time, but it's where I record my inner-most thoughts and prayers and discoveries. My blog is probably the closest thing to an every-day life type of journal that I keep.

What motivates you to blog about your life? Excellent question! I think the answer is two-fold.
1. I'm a writer in my soul. And I've discovered that writing about everyday life makes you extremely relate-able, and you always have material; you just have to learn to recognize it. Also, it's great for lazy people like me because you don't have to imagine anything like, say... if you were writing fiction.
2. I think another huge motivator is just the 'recording-my-life-for-posterity' thing. I'm extremely forgetful and it's nice to look back at things that have happened that I've written about. One day, my grandkids will read it and say Ahh... so Grandma's ALWAYS been this weird!

What's your favorite outfit/favorite piece of clothing? (Pictures please?) Eek. Pictures?! Okay fine.
ONE of my favorite outfits: flowy blue-and-white top, jeans, boots. And a blue cardigan if I get chilly :)

Please excuse the makeup-splatters on my mirror.

These are quite possibly my favorite earrings in the whole wide world, and they go perfectly with my favorite outfit :)

There you have it!

What's your favorite name for a guy? Toss-up between Jason and Micah.

Does your desire to marry a Scottish man have anything to do with Neil MacNeill? You know, I'd never thought of that possibility until this very moment, but it is altogether likely that the rugged Scottish doctor from Christy, whom I had a violent crush on and who played a large role in my formative years did, in fact, influence my Scottish fetish.

At any rate, thanks to a line of his in an episode of the Christy TV series called The Sweetest Gift, I always hear his Scottish brogue in my head whenever I hear the name "Alexander Graham Bell".

What kind of candy do you have in your secret stash? I had Lindt milk chocolate truffles but I ate the last one for breakfast a few days ago. Before that, I had Christmas-tree shaped snack cakes and Hershey's cookies n' cream candy bars.

What color is/are your mp3/cell phone/laptop case/other random accessories? iPod is orange, obviously. Cell phone is blue :)

My laptop case is black, but I have a beautiful purple and green cover, hand-crocheted by my cousin :) I love it :) (My laptop, Guido, is black, btw.)

What song(s) do you play on repeat? Right now, Josh Groban's Bells of New York City and War at Home, and Natasha Bedingfield's Soulmate, among others. One mainstay is the Beatles Here Comes the Sun. Total classic. (Oh, and for more, you can look at the official Abbie Writes playlist over there -->
It contains my latest obsessions.)

What's your favorite holiday? I think I'd have to say Easter. This might be partially inspired by the fact that it is the dead of winter... but I love the hope and exultant joy that comes with the spring. And celebrating the day in history that set the whole human race free... how great is that?!!

What do you wish you had money for? Ellerslie leadership academy. Also, some skinny jeans.

Whew. I don't know about you, but I'm sick of myself. After Part II, I'm going to switch this up and ask YOU guys the questions! Stay tuned and have a great rest-of-the-weekend!

- Abbie

Ask Abbie

2011-01-22T23:00:00.002-05:00

My life is a tad crazy right now, and probably will be for the next 18 years or so. I would give my left ventricle for the chance to sit for hours every day writing, but reality steps very rudely in the way, and what time I do have to write is usually spent staring at the Word document that will hopefully, someday turn into a book. (Knock on wood.)

But the other night, while cleaning my room and listening to Pandora Radio - I had an idea.

It's probably really dumb. It will probably be met with perplexed silence and a few raised eyebrows. But...
... that's never stopped me before.

So here's the deal:

I'm hosting an official Ask Abbie session. Wondering why I want to marry a Scottish man? Curious about my shoe size? Wanna know about all those posts I've promised to write, and haven't? Want my fudgy brownie recipe?

Hit me up. Leave a comment. Ask away. I'll pick some of my favorites and answer them within the next day or so (hopefully).

Unless, of course, this was the worst idea in the history of blogging, and no one really wants to know what my favorite ice cream flavor is.

Here. I'll start.

Hi Abbie. This is yourself speaking. Hey! What's up?!

Why are you listening to Usher? *Expression of chagrin* Uhm... because "DJ Got Us Fallin' In Love Again" causes me to dance around my room like a total freak, and sometimes I just need to do that. OKAY?!

Uh. Okay. Who are your heroes? Jesus, Winston Churchill and Audrey Hepburn. If you must know.

Choose one: Ryan Reynolds, Johnny Depp, James McAvoy, Hugh Jackman, Ryan Gosling. Yes, please.

What's your favorite name for a girl? Norah. This will probably change next month.

What do you want to be when you grow up? Self, I find it ironic that you are asking me this question. Sneaky way to try to find out.

Fine then. What are you going to college for? A transferrable degree, i.e., Social Sciences.

What do you do when you're bored? I'm never bored. But when I am, I am fond of reading biographies of G.K. Chesterton, cooking way-too-complicated recipes, and having conversations with my sister consisting entirely of movie lines.

Getting the idea? I'll try to keep my answers honest, but if you ask mean questions that require me to choose between my movie star crushes, I might just have to plead the fifth.

So if you're feeling really bored this Saturday night... ask away!

(Oh, and you can feel free to ask multiple questions. It will give me more procrastination material this weekend while I should be doing English homework!)

- Abbie

P.S. Don't wanna comment? You can use this nifty little creation:

&lt;p&gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;a href="http://www.formspring.me/abbiewrites"&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;http://www.formspring.me/abbiewrites&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/a&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&lt;/p&gt;

The Criminal Files: Episode 2

2011-01-20T23:45:00.002-05:00

*Update: I forgot that EVERYONE might not know what in the world "Wawa" is. It's a chain gas station/store of awesomeness in Mid-Atlantic states.*

Being my usual "Queen of the Road" self today, I crashed into another car.

Cool, huh???

Actually, the story isn't as dramatic as one might expect. It was roughly 7:27 am and I was heading to school, enjoying the sunrise and singing vigorously along with Jason Mraz. And then... due to the - ahem - ill-timed merging of a certain random car to my right, I was forced to slam on the brakes - (totally made my tires squeal, which I noticed with a kind of vague amusement) - but I couldn't stop fast enough. One little sickening "k-thump" later, and my heart was officially palpitating and my palms were spurting sweat.

Yes. Spurting.

It was rather grotesque.

The damage to the poor lady's car was, in fact, minimal. And the damage to Rhonda (my beloved Honda), was, in fact - nonexistent!

However, when I called my parents, most likely waking them from a dead sleep, my dad asked what happened, and when I told him, he calmly stated that I was most likely getting a ticket.

This caused me to start freaking out.

But in the end, the very kind red-haired office said the damage wasn't enough for an accident report, so he didn't really care what had happened, as long as we were okay. (At this point, I half expected to hear myself suddenly start blurting and blubbering out the whole thing, and about how I must have either been following too close or driving too fast. And then I'd get myself thrown in the pokey for sure.)

Instead, I just smiled with giddy relief and drove off to school.

And the moral of this story is...

... Cruella DeVille tendencies do not belong on the highway.

- Abbie

P.S. In an entirely unrelated note, later, after my first class, when I was in line at Wawa getting my English Toffee Cappuccino, I pulled my apparently-unzipped wallet out of my purse and coins went flying everywhere.
A very nice man helped me pick them up off the floor and pluck them out of the candy bins.
Thank you, Mr. Nice Man in line at Wawa!

Sometimes

2011-01-19T16:16:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I just feel like announcing to the world that I quit.

No, I will not be going to church tonight, and doing normal-human stuff. I will be going home to have a meltdown.

No, I will not be laying myself out before you in customer-servitude and letting you run rough-shod over me. I will be going home to hole up in my room and slurp chocolate milk until my eyes bulge out of my head.

No, I will not be participating in class discussion today, grade notwithstanding. I will be going home to put on my biggest, fluffiest pair of men's sweatpants and wallow in self-pity.

Do you ever feel like this?
I'll understand if you don't wear men's sweatpants, I suppose. But do you ever just feel like you want to quit?

I hope you don't. But at the same time, I also hope I'm not alone =/

Whine-ingly yours,

Abbie

I Need to be Filled...

2011-01-18T22:21:00.000-05:00

... with inspiration

... with motivation

... and muse

I need to be filled...

... with chocolate

... with words that must spill

... and perhaps some algebraic knowledge

I need to be filled...

... with compassion

... with hot Chai tea

... and smiles

I need to be filled...

... with pluck

... with spirit

.... and words I cannot say

I need to be filled...

... with passion

... with silent singing

... with synonyms

I need to be filled...

... with courage

... with trust

... with need for Jesus.

Fill me Lord.

Pretty please.

I'm Sorry, Chris. [I ruined your song.]

2011-01-14T20:10:00.001-05:00

There's this song by Chris Tomlin that I've been singing/humming along with for years now, ever since we got his CD See the Morning.

Let Your Mercy Rain

And tonight, I realized something that consequently made me feel like a heathen.

The first part of the chorus goes like this:

You're the overflow
You're the fountain of my heart
Let Your mercy rain
Let Your mercy rain on us

But you know how sometimes, if you're unsure of a certain word in a song, you subconsciously replace it with a word that sounds right?

You do that, right? It's not just me.... right?

Here's the part you really need to listen to, in order to know what I'm talking about: the line of Chris Tomlin's song that Abbie butchers. (Yes, I linked directly to a particular portion of a Youtube video. Because I'm cool like that.)

So, you clicked and listened, right?

And after reading the lyrics, I'm sure that's exactly what you heard, too.

But tonight, while sitting on the couch doing Sociology homework and occasionally breaking up brawls between my punk siblings, I found myself singing along to the music, except I sang....

"You're the Oglethorpe...

You're the fountain of my heart..."

Blasphemous, much?!?!

I just called the Creator of heaven and earth the "Oglethorpe". Thank goodness the next line is "let Your mercy rain", although in this case a torrential downpour might be more in order.

What I'm Doing

2011-01-12T22:29:00.000-05:00

So, if you really care to know, here are the classes I'm taking:

English 111
Psychology 201
Math 4 - (yes, still haven't made it to actual college algebra. Oy.)
Sociology 201
History - Western Civilizations 2

The end.

Today was so bitterly cold that I opted to eat my leftover chicken panini cold in my sun-warmed car than trek all the way back across the parking lot and into the main building to microwave it.

It was actually pretty tasty.

My class schedule this semester requires me to be up at 5 am every morning. (IF I want to shower, eat breakfast, pack lunch, have my devotions and get ready.)

And that is the story of how Abbie Writes became just another college-student blog. (Just kidding. I have some interesting things rolling around in the corners of my brain. Hopefully they will soon make their way out.) In the meantime, please excuse the incoherence.

Bye for now,

Abbie

What's a Creative Synonym for the Word "List"?

2011-01-08T22:17:00.002-05:00

A list.

Because (sigh - must we really go over this again??) I love lists.

I have learned something while beginning the process of "writing a book" (bahaha!) It's that I cannot write fiction. At least, I don't think I can. Is fiction supposed to involve girls who ride bicycles into small children, and extremely tall men who engage in lame dialogue? Because if so, I'm great at fiction!

Hardy har. Har. Har.

Instead of spending my time tonight wisely, I sat around staring at my fuzzy purple slippers, transferring my clean clothes from hamper, to bed, and back again because I wanted to sit on my bed, arranging all my "to-read" books in a nice, neat, daunting pile on my nightstand, and watching a BBC version of Persuasion.

Oh, and I also played with my googly-eyed pen, which I adore. (Have you ever seen a googly-eye pen?)

I've decided my next giveaway - if I ever have a "next giveaway" - will be googly-eye pens.

Amen.

I had to pay $233 in court costs and fines yesterday for my traffic ticket. My bank account made a sound sort of like the Wicked Witch of the West, at the end of The Wizard of Oz...

I'm melting!!!!

Sad.

I've discovered something about myself, while reading about other people; I lack the motivation and discipline to even desire to be motivated and disciplined.

I'm not sure how I feel about that, other than concerned.

I'm starting school up again Monday. For a detailed glimpse of my class schedule... come back later =D

I'm going to read and review a book about G.K. Chesteron soon. Just thought that was important and worthy of sharing. And I have a dilemma, because I always want to do a giveaway when I review a book. But obviously, I don't want to give the book away if it isn't good. And if it is good, I want to keep it. Hmmmm.

Goodbye!

P.S. I thought the lyrics and melody were cute, and reflected a bit of my personality and spirit, but my older sister said the first song in my playlist over there ---> was horrible and sounded like a never-ending carnival ride. Is this true?! On second thought, never mind. Just be glad I don't have it on 'automatic play'.

It Snowed.

2011-01-04T16:40:00.000-05:00

A Little New Year's Ingenuity

2011-01-03T20:14:00.000-05:00

My closet shelf has been the bane of my existence, the bur in my saddle, the gnat on the windshield of my life for the past several months.

It's the shelf at approximate rib-cage height when I walk straight into my closet, and is therefore a catch-all for jewelry, perfume/lotions, makeup, random boxes of baking soda, and lots of other odd paraphernalia.

I would have taken pictures of the carnage but... well, I didn't think about it. Also, you probably would've run screaming and never come back. And then I'd be sad. So I think it's best for everyone that I did not take before pictures of this evening's project.

This is the after:

My jewelry was the biggest problem. I just had no good place to put my earrings. But a solution presented itself to me by way of...

*Drumroll please!....*

A random, single placemat that I bought at work long ago for about 50 cents. At the time, my intent was to use it as a background for food photography - perhaps a nice bowl of soup. But food photography hasn't happened around here in a long while. (Sad face.)

But this lovely Lorena Garcia placemat made of... basically loosely knit sticks.... now has a very gratifying purpose.

Eek. Please pretend this picture is extremely focused and not the least bit blurry. Thank you.

It feels so much better to actually have an attractive closet shelf now. I shall sleep in peace.

(Ooh, and look - I even stuck a little candle up there. Ambiance!)

Hope everyone's Monday was a good one, and perhaps filled with more interesting happenings than the rearranging of your closet shelves!

- Abbie

My New Year's Manifesto

2011-01-01T20:26:00.000-05:00

New Year's always feels like a mountain top to me. No matter how tough the last year was, how anxious I am for it to be over, no matter how many good times or bad times I've had.... I made it to the top. It's a rather Pilgrim's Progress-y feeling. And even though I may not be able to fling my arms wide, with that glorious abandon you see in the pictures (I might, in fact, be lying prostrate, wheezing!)... but I still made it. I'm alive. All my teeth and most of my sanity are intact.

And even though, mathematically and scientifically and logically speaking, I should first write a little retrospect about 2010, I can't seem to contain my excitement for a new To-Do List :)

An illness? Yes. Yes, it is.

I used to write New Years Resolutions all the time. (Well, every year.) Then I stopped, because I decided it was dumb. Then, a few years ago, I started calling them "Goals for the New Year", which was basically just a less stern way of saying "resolutions".

Now, I hope I've found a happy medium with my rather childish "Stuff I Wanna Do" list. There's just something exciting and cool about starting fresh, wiping the slate clean. All the cruddy buildup of the last yearI can just be let go, and the wonderful, beautiful memorable lessons can be tucked away somewhere safe for the future.

I'm suddenly exceptionally glad that God put it in our heads to divide up our time here, especially into years, because it's official: I'd be a nutcase without New Years :)

Okay, without further ado, may I present Abbie's Stuff I Wanna Do in 2011:

Grow in leaps and bounds toward the God I love, and into an ever-closer journey with Him
Find a violin teacher
Finish all but one semester of community college
Decide for sure on future college plans (transfer? where to? decisions, decisions!)
Wear lots of mismatched socks
Become slightly obsessive about eating fruit and veggies, and drinking water
Discover tons of great music
Discover (and read!) loads of amazing books
Lighten up
Get serious
Write most (if not all of) my book
Go on a spiritual retreat, alone
Adopt a cause, and learn to support it
Plan a real, live international trip. Where to? Not sure yet.
Check a few more things off my Life List
Find a better job
Pursue photography
Cook more ( grin )
Become more organized in: my reading, the usage of my time, my writing
Start running (seriously. I must.)
Learn how to stop focusing on "not sinning" but on loving God.
Learn how to live a better story with my life
Stay in-touch with faraway friends :(
Seek out beauty and creativity every day - don't confuse my idea of "living" with life!
Consider a writer's conference (gulp)
Spend more quality time with my parents and siblings
Save money
Work toward a faithfulness in my quiet time with God
See my cousins
Don't neglect to write things down
Be spontaneous
Notice those oddly present spiritual "themes" during different seasons of my life
Learn freedom from perfectionism - embrace grace
Learn.
Learn.
Learn.
LEARN!!!!
Also, grow.

Okay, I could definitely go on, but I don't want to set myself up for too much failure here. So I'll leave it at that. There it is - my grandiose list for this new year.

I have no idea what this year will hold (obviously!) but I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that it will hold glorious times, mountain top experiences, and "thin moments" as I like to call them, when the curtain between heaven and earth comes thin for just a moment. It will hold laughter and breathtaking moments and excitement and joy.

It will hold rocky times, dark nights and tears, too, although who really likes to think of those on New Years?? But, as I was reminded last night by a friend, if we keep ourselves close to God when those hard times come, they actually have the potential to become good times, because we'll grow from them, and lean more confidently on the Lord.

My prayer is that you're entering this new year, this new mountain, with hope.

Because in my opinion, there is no more glorious gift than a wild, impetuous hope.

- Abbie

Past Awesome Button Destinations

2011-01-01T16:43:00.011-05:00

- Jon Acuff - Stuff Christians Like

- Carla Bruni - L'Amoureuse [song]

- Penelope Loves Lists

- Chatting at the Sky

- Trish Lawrence - Bringing Creativity to Life

- Kelle Hampton - Enjoying the Small Things

An Ordinary Monday?

2010-12-27T12:22:00.001-05:00

Well, importing my past blog posts from Wordpress was a fail; apparently you can only import/export from one Blogger blog to another, or one Wordpress blog to another.

[Lame.]

Because it's Monday, and because the snow is deep, and the sun is bright, I'm going to start the beginning of the end [the end of the year, that is!] with a continued list of 1,000 Gifts.

[Previous posts here.]

19. Snow dancing and sparkling in the sunlight outside my window like diamond dust

20. A weekend spent in the company of family, food and laughter

21. The first half of the week off of work

22. The first distant imagining of spring that always comes to me the day after Christmas (even though winter has just begun)

23. A song that lives up to its name, Hymn to Hope

24. The anticipation and planning for the new year

25. Winter weddings

26. The nerdy, scholastic excitement of registering for classes, and buying new books and school supplies in preparation for next semester

27. Enjoying sleeping in the last few days of Christmas break

If you're so inclined, comment and share 1 or 100 things that you're grateful for this Monday.

(Just kidding on the 100. That would literally be a novel of a comment.)

The Dawn of a New Error

2010-12-26T18:42:00.000-05:00

Because sometimes, I start feeling restless and squirmy over at Wordpress, I finally decided to take the leap and re-create Abbie Writes over here at Blogspot. It just seems to have more functionality. Or something.

That being said, I need to mention that we got 14 inches of snow today.

This is huge, for the south.

I also need to mention that I did not take a single picture of said snow. For that, I am sad. But I'm pretty sure it will still be there tomorrow.

I'm feeling kind of unfocused and weird, but I plan to remedy that tonight by reading and making some lists and goals for the coming weeks/months/semester.

That's all for now. I hope this finds you relatively well and unscathed by any winter weather you might be experiencing in your neck of the woods!

Abbie Writes

The Weekend

My Annual Valentine's Day Manifesto: 2nd Edition

Yes. It is I. Don't look so freaked out.

the swirling black-hole vortex-thingy

The New Year's Post That May or May Not Be 4 Days Late

Things That Happened.

My problem with Christmas

That One Thing

It's problems like this that keep me up at night.

forgetting to remember

a summary of thursday :)

I seriously sat here for 6 minutes trying to think of a title. no luck.

beach retreats and dragon scales

School, Rain, and Smelling Like Subway

My Alias Expired [why fake names are for criminals and professionals, i.e., not me.]

Abbie, 17 Ways

Mini-Embarrassment Epic: Coffee-Scented Paper

Brain Stew

The couch to 5k running plan is currently in my life right now. I love it and hate it. Mostly hate it.

Pinterest. I don't know where it came from, where it's going, or how long it's been here, but I recently hurtled myself at the bandwagon with alarming ferocity. I think I'm obsessed.

I need more time. Literally, I need every minute of my life to actually last for about 4 minutes. During this time, I would manage to get everything done and watch New Girl. That would be really awesome. Okay, thanks.

My region of the globe has been experiencing thunderstorms/rainy weather for almost 2 weeks straight. I am in artist-y bliss.

Would anyone like to donate to my Starbucks-therapy fund? PenPal button coming soon. (Kidding. I think.)

I love this lady. We need to switch lives for a week or 2. She could get my life straight, and I could wear really cute clothes.

Does anyone have the cure for procrastinating? Or at least some tips other than the ever-popular Just do it? Because that one's getting on my nerves, and I need a cure that doesn't actually require me to do anything.

I need to decide which to ask for for Christmas/my birthday: Really nice running shoes and a new iPod, or a DSLR camera.

#9 proves quite clearly that I am a spoiled, middle-class American young adult who still lives at home.

I want to erase #9 now.

Do you read Jon Acuff? If not, I think you should. But only if you take yourself very, very seriously.

Okay, my brain is feeling much more at rest now, and decidedly stew-less. Happy Wednesday!

A Tuesday Prayer

between the bars & late-night nights

Conquering My Fear: A Photojournalistic Exposé

Jigsaw

I need a cute bag to match my hobo self.

The post of utter honesty.

Monday Evening Musing

Ask Abbie: Belated Session

In which I reveal the sad extent of my chronic geekiness

Sniffles and Exciting News

Once, I disappeared from the globe. But then I came back.

in the style of absent bloggers....

On the airwaves... sorta.

So I guess you guys aren't going to let me get away with this, huh?

Since it's already stuck in my head...

The Embarrassment Epics: Fear of Matrimony

A Friday List

She's Walking.

To You, From the McDonald's Parking Lot

Haiku, do you?

Sunrise on the Beach

Beach Scenes

So, I'm at the beach...

Guest-Postage, by me :)

A Messy Drawing

On Comments and the Fact that You Guys are Awesome.

Video of the Week

Choices, Decisions and All Manner of Confusion

Video of the Week

Dating: An Utterly Single Girl's Perspective

Guess what?!

Happy Heart Day [because i'm tired of the word "valentine"]

The Embarrassment Epics: Cute Guys and Blue Skies

Your Video of the Week

The Myth of the Perfect Guy

Last Q&A Session, with a twist

For your own safety...

Why a Blog is Superior to a Book

Rich Listening

I Have Nothing To Say Except...

Ask Abbie: The Answers Part I

Ask Abbie

The Criminal Files: Episode 2

Sometimes

I Need to be Filled...

I'm Sorry, Chris. [I ruined your song.]

What I'm Doing

What's a Creative Synonym for the Word "List"?

It Snowed.